Comment by CmdrSprinkles | Hacker News Reader

Comment by CmdrSprinkles | Hacker News Reader

Parent Full thread

> don't kids have a right to not let their parents know?

Quite frankly: no. As a kid, you aren't mature enough or developed enough to be trusted to make reasonable decisions. That is why you have a guardian and that is why you get some leeway in court. It is also why you tend to not be allowed to consent to many things.

You can keep your banging your boyfriend from your parents (but they probably know. Kids aren't that smart. ESPECIALLY when crotches are involved), but they should, if they wish, know where you are. Because they are responsible for you and are responsible for dealing with your screw-ups. If that means humping in a car or at a friend's place while their parents are out of town: Welcome to being a teenager.

Being a kid is about screwing up. A LOT. Being a parent is about being the safety net for those screw-ups. And that involves being able to find your dumbass kid when they do what kids do.

As for abuse: The parents who want to know where you are 24/7 already can. Just install an app to do it or use Find my iPhone/Android. If anything, this is less invasive as the child can decline to share location and just call to say "I'm alright".

But isn't leeway necessary to mature?

If kids don't screw up because they are under constant control, what would give you assurance they will not once that constant control gets turned off?

Also I don't honestly understand: what threats are you actually protecting your kids from by having them under constant location surveillance? Do you guys fear your kids are at constant risk of being kidnapped every time they go out?

I used to worry that my little brother would have some accident while driving drunk or stoned, I worry about friends and relatives being molested or physically assaulted, but knowing where they are would hardly give me any solace.

Again, the strawman is that parents will watch every five seconds all day long. Yes, some will, but they already have

Again, if anything, this gives MORE leeway. My sister pings her kid's location. They have five minutes to approve or decline and call her. That handles the problem of kids who don't realize that obnoxious ringtone is theirs.

And the google page on this already gave the use case. Someone goes somewhere (in this case, hiking) and later misses an appointment. You ping them and get an idea of where they were and can act from there.

Going back to the My Sister example: The kid doesn't respond and she gets a location. It is her kid's friend Jane's place. My sister is now relieved because she trusts her kid and Jane to not get into too much trouble (outside of MAYBE needing a Plan B pill...). Or she gets the location and it is the intersection of Drug Street and Rape Alley. My sister is now pissed and kind of terrified and actively calls the kid while looking for her car keys to go deal with this. Or the kid declines, calls her, and says "Hey mom. I'm fine. Oh, that loud car and gunfire in the background? We are totally playing Call of Duty. I'll talk to you later". At this point, depending on the parent, they decide how to act. I know from experience that my sister would probably IM her husband or me and start complaining and we would try to calm her down and remind her that her kid isn't a complete dumbass and knows they can count on her. Whereas I know our mother would be insisting on picking us up from wherever we may be.

But again, this strawman of the abusive parent is just a load of bull hockey. They already have ways to be abusive parents.

thanks for the reply, but I never talked about abusive parents. I don't think parents are abusive if they want to check their kids position, i think it's normal.

And I don't expect anyone to be checking the phone every 5 seconds, either, the _possibility_ of checking it at any time is what conditions my behaviour.

And with the world we live in: Understanding that someone is always watching IS a good thing to teach. Teach your kids that anything they do online can have repercussions. And if they are doing something where they absolutely would be screwed if they were caught: Should they be doing it?

As a kid that means not hanging out with Billy the Pothead. As an adult that may be something (more) illegal. Learn early.

1984 was not meant to be an instruction manual.

Reply on news.ycombinator.com