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Comment by iamlolz | Hacker News Reader

I've heard "How to win friends and influence people" mentioned regularly. What impact did it have on you, if you don't mind me asking?

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The book describes principles of good communication. When you read it, you think, "Duh." However, many of the points and methods described were not how I, nor people I knew, behaved when interacting with others.

It's not easy to answer your question simply, but I can say it started for me with just remembering to consider, "What does this other person want?" There are many ways this is described in life, such as "Put yourself in their shoes", but I was shocked to realize how rarely I approached situations with that consideration.

The stories used for illustration are rather quaint and wordy, but they do the job nicely. Plus, we tend to respond to anecdotes better than just rules.

It's a short book, and IMO something that should be taught (and practiced) as a class in middle school.

Thank you for responding. It sounds really interesting and I think I could use something like that, I've purchased it on Audible and will listen to it next.

When you were doing the Pimsleur courses, how far did it help you progress? Did it stick with you?

I went through the first two CDs of German I and French I, but because I'm a driver who automatically prioritizes driving first, I was only half-attentive to the language courses. That said, what was on those two CDs, if I started hearing the phrases again, would come right back.

I didn't stick with it, however, because I moved to Netherlands :).

Well I'm going to give it a go. Thank you for posting above, you've put me on to two valuable resources. :)

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