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Comment by lujim | Hacker News Reader

Life hack #2: Don't move to Europe to chase a girl or run from a President-elect. (actually do whatever you want just don't expect the girl to be as good or the President-elect to be as bad as they seem to you right now)

Edit: All the guys with great relationships... I was attempting unsuccessfully to be funny. Have a great weekend.

Edit 2: It appears from the replies below that 75% of men that follow a girl to another country find it to be the best decision they ever made. I would like to formally retract my Lifehack

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My now-wife essentially chased me to east Africa, after I got a one year research grant about two months into dating. The complications and many difficulties of figuring out day to day life in radically different circumstances was great for our relationship. The day to day stuff we deal with now is cake by comparison.

Throwing yourself into radically different circumstances, far outside of your comfort zone, is also a great way to learn about problems which aren't evident from the warm confines of career or academia. I highly recommend it.

On the other hand, Trump and his associated band of fascists requires active resistance. Running away is counter productive politically. I'm reading the New Jim Crow right now, which talks directly about how the most racist, regressive policies in the US have historically been passed after the collapse of progressive resistance. There's going to be a lot of work to be done in the next four years...

(Sorry for piling on, but wanted to add a pro travel argument beyond 'it worked for me!')

> Trump and his associated band of fascists

[citation needed]

Trump has already backtracked to more centrist positions (which was expected by those paying attention). And you can't ignore that the minority vote for Trump was higher than the previous Republican candidates.[1] Additionally, women played several key[2] roles in his campaign and an openly gay man got a standing ovation at the Republican Convention.

Anyways, you could say the very same thing about Hillary, but with actual evidence. Saudi Arabia, an undisputed theocratic regime that is not exactly known for treating minorities well (especially gays[3] & women[4]) and is funding ISIS[5], donated a large sum of money to the Clinton Foundation[6]. This is very out of line with democratic norms.

Oh, and the DNC shenanigans with Bernie Sanders and Hillary's cozy relationship with the mainstream media (i.e, getting debate questions in advance). And let's not forget the anti-democratic Democrat protesters. Then there's the folks calling out for Trumps assassination and disturbing racist diatribes towards whites on Twitter. Not exactly democratic...

So tell me again who's aligned with fascists?

[1] http://slatestarcodex.com/2016/11/16/you-are-still-crying-wo...

[2] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kellyanne_Conway

[3] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LGBT_rights_in_Saudi_Arabia

[4] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Women%27s_rights_in_Saudi_Arab...

[5] http://www.salon.com/2016/01/06/saudi_arabia_funds_and_expor...

[6] http://projects.nytimes.com/clinton-donors/

(Disclosure ~ I didn't vote for Trump. I'm not a crazy person.)

The foundation operates health and educationprograms for single parents and children. Complaining about that is just dumb.

Argeed. It probably had nothing to do with the $165 Billion Arms deal to Clinton Foundation donors:

https://theintercept.com/2016/02/22/saudi-christmas-present/

http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2015/05/hillary-clinton-...

After all you wrote, your disclosure does not compute with me. I think it's quite the opposite, only a crazy person would vote for greater evil. And there is not really any proof that Trump is evil.

Trump and Hillary were not the only candidates on the ballot.

> Running away is counter productive politically

I agree with the gist of your post, but Sometimes the winning move is not to play. And if your safety is on the line, your life in jeopardy, or if proposed changes to government will soon put your life in jeopardy, "running away" is clearly the best move. Survival is far more important than achieving a political goal.

I'm of the mind that in 2016 we should be well beyond "regressing" to the 1800s as a society (but where I see "regress", some fascists see "progress" I guess....). If people have become disillusioned toward the fact that they will never change the hearts of fascists and bigots, I wouldn't blame them for leaving.

> I agree with the gist of your post, but Sometimes the winning move is not to play. And if your safety is on the line, your life in jeopardy, or if proposed changes to government will soon put your life in jeopardy, "running away" is clearly the best move.

Fortunately, that's completely irrelevant to current events in the United States.

Of course you should manage your expectations. But change can be really good for you, and why the hell would you NOT chase a girl if you think she's worth chasing? Because OH NO, it might not work out?

Way to live your life!

"why the hell would you NOT chase a girl if you think she's worth chasing?"

Hmm... Restraining order I guess?

This made my day, lol.

Because there are girls (or guys) everywhere/ closer to you who are amazing who you would love and get along wonderfully with?

People can have their adventure or be an expat, and that's fine, but it's often more about the adventure or being an expat than about the girl. Or they can get excited about the French/ Japanese girl but is it more about the person or the Frenchness/ Japaneseness?

This is the blessing of youth being unburdened by wisdom. If you overthink things this much not only will it be almost impossible to have any adventures but it can also lead to hand-wringing depression (speaking from experience here).

"But it is more often about the adventure..."

Or, you know, the opposite. I didn't actually care if I moved or he did. The reality was that it made more sense for both of us if I moved, just like it made more sense for us to get married in the states. We knew each other about 5 years before I moved, generally talking daily.

Naturally, if you aren't a little adventurous, you'd not consider that a viable relationship in the first place, so sure, it has a little bit of it because it must for the relationship to work.

I chased a girl to Europe, by far the best decision I ever made.

I chased a girl to Canada and it was the worst decision I ever made.

YMMV.

Chasing the girl, or chasing her to Canada? ;)

Both, actually.

Canada is sorry...

Same, chased a girl to the Netherlands from the UK. Been here 6 years, getting married next year, 4 kids and the best job I've ever had. Not sure if my life could be much better. :)

I wound up in Europe for love. And same here - it is the best decision I've made. Been here for a little over 3 years now and have no regrets.

I chased a girl to France, the worst decision I ever made.

Some time after, I chased a girl to Japan, the best decision I ever made.

Using "chase" for the girl/partner part seems dicey. Agreeing to move to another country with your partner of multiple years is just fine. Finding out third-hand that somebody you kinda like but have never really spent time with is moving to another country and trying to follow them is unlikely to turn out well. "Chase" could mean either.

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