I totally understand what you are saying. Small companies may be better for you. For me, I'm only at work to get a paycheck. I'm also a very competitive person, but that's why I want to have a strong work/life balance -- so I can have time to work on the things I want to work on, like my game (http://wizardsofzenith.com) and improving my PRs at road races. But I definitely understand if your heart is really in the work you do at your job that a big company environment would be very frustrating.