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Comment by trynumber9 | Hacker News Reader

"In America today, compared with 50 years ago, three times as many working-age men are completely outside the work"

I was taught that work is one of only two uses for a man. That other being a good father. It must be wrong but it is an unshakable thought. I can't imagine how I would hate myself if I couldn't provide. This fear, even though I have no dependents, is far greater than my fear of being unneeded.

Maybe it's different for other people.

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So few men vocalize this fear. I lost a brother-in-law to suicide because of this. Thank you for sharing this.

I wasn't explicitly taught this - but as someone with no dependents, I relate quite strongly to this.

> I can't imagine how I would hate myself if I couldn't provide. This fear, even though I have no dependents, is far greater than my fear of being unneeded.

it's one, if not the biggest, fear of my life. my wife is a college student and a housewife (college is different in brazil, it's not fulltime like in the us). not being able to provide would mean we would suffer a bit.

i have a recurrent dream where i go look at my bank account/savings and it's zeroed, meaning i can't pay our bills. i always wake up really freaking scared.

God that sounds horrible.

this fear drives you to save more. My parent's generation had large saving and near 0 debt(except house) because of the fear of loosing. As the society advances, like I believe in Scandinavian country, the risk of not being able to provide food, health, education to kids and family goes down. This alleviates the fear and allows people to take more risk and still a happier life.

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