But more than that, I realized that there were many life lessons regarding self-discipline, training, and teamwork that I missed as well. I ended up working for a startup founded by college athletes (not your stereotypical jocks, but smart, driven people) and you could see that their leadership, discipline, and motivational skills were already well-developed from their soccer days. For me, working on software teams was my first real collaborative team experience, and I could tell they were leagues beyond me in understanding and developing team dynamics.
Absolutely this. I did play football in high school and actually was not really in to it at all (parents forced me to play something). I was also quite anti-social, in to computers and video games, never went to parties, etc. Then I got a degree in English literature and spent three years in the Peace Corps.
These things all coalesced in interesting ways for me:
- Football taught me about self-discipline, training, teamwork, leadership, etc.
- My hobby interest in computers from a young age built up a strong technical foundation and ultimately gave me the skills needed to land my first job.
- Studying English lit. taught me about effective written and verbal communication, analytical and critical thinking (beyond what I learned doing development), etc. and has been massively useful in my work life.
- Peace Corps taught me how to be social (finally!), patient, self-motivated, etc. and also about generalities surrounding important things such as culture, language, history and identity.
All of this stuff has led me to success in the job market and, I think, a powerful appreciation for my work and the work/life balance. It's very interesting to think about.
I don't feel like my life is any less rich because I chose to not be obsessed with sports. My wife who grew up with a sports fanatic for a dad gives me shit sometimes, but I try not to let it get to me. I can now enjoy my passion wherever I am, while I work, while I'm exercising (blah!) and I have a hobby (playing guitars/drums and listening to music) that I can do pretty much until my deathbed.
I played for 3 years in middle school (grades 6-8) and put it down because I felt awkward continuing on through high school. Now, 8 years later, I've joined jazz ensemble at uni and feel so far behind but so glad I'm back into it.
I sadly didn't come into a "don't apologize for the way your are mentality" until later in high school/early college.
At about 12-13 another player and I got cut from my rep team. We would have been forced into the house leagues for that year, instead of regional travel. I was pretty young and nobody really explained the concept of making a team to me. I just always played for the teams I was on, not realizing that I was actually playing at the top level of my club for my age. My dad lost it, and pulled me from the organization. I suppose he thought I was better than some other kids that were kept on. The intent was we'd play for another club. I suppose they were all full by that time, because I never did.
I stopped playing soccer in favour of other sports. I played hockey next year instead. I didn't try out for the high school team because I thought I wasn't a good player. The kid who got cut with me kept practicing, joined the high school team, and got a university scholarship in the US as a player. His father was just as upset as mine was, but I'd say how he approached that problem was quite different.
I'm 41 now, and I play every week in a competitive amateur league; even though I walked away from the game in the critical development years, I'm still good enough to play with guys who played all of their lives. I always wonder how good I could have actually been had I kept it up.
It's a lesson however that I'm constantly aware of for my own boys: Where you are at development wise at any particular time in comparison to others says little about where your ultimate top end might be. How you handle rejection and defeat is more important than how you are when things are going well.
I can't help but feel that you caring so much about this might be the second stage of your regret.
Maybe France is different but I don't think not playing sports at age 3 is as big of a deterrent as you may think to playing sports or making friends.
I also grew up in France and can attest that it used to be difficult to integrate in any sort of group if you didn't play and didn't care for "Le foot".