I summarize something similar to all this in a deep reply above to the top comment along with some other observations.
I will say that when I was first assigned an Embody at work, I went through a period of comfy->uncomfy->comfy-again, so sometimes sticking it out works. Going through the setup guide (think it came with a DVD even) and putting some work into making it just right helped. Ultimately it became such an important part of my workstation ergos that I dropped a few hundred on one so I could work from home in the same chair as work, and haven't regretted it.
But I totally agree with you--you either fit the profile for it or you don't. I think it's incredibly important that you test the Embody before buying it. If it fits you it's going to be the best chair on the market, hands down, bar none. If it doesn't it's going to be a serious pain.
Regarding reclining, the tilt knob isn't really for active reclining, if I recall their setup guide correctly, more to set the right resistance so you float at an ergonomic 110 degrees while allowing wiggle room to fidget. At the very least, that's how I set mine, and it works pretty well. I feel kind of suspended in the chair that way.
The tilt limiter is set so I don't have much room at all beyond that--that lets me push backwards against the limiter and then arch my (and the chair's) back to stretch.
The arms are crappy. I can't argue there. They sit too far back, and there's too much play in the spread adjuster joint. The height adjustment on them is excellent--they drop well below my elbows so I can use the chair "without" armrests--but the rest of the adjustment is poor.
(To the parent poster, btw, I wear a pretty thick leather belt with mine fine--really does depend on how you're shaped).