Hacker News Reader

Comment by ChuckMcM | Hacker News Reader

This is a great lesson to learn. I've had people disbelieve me when I've told them some of my most memorable and important conversations have started off with someone telling me I was wrong. Being able to discuss, defend, and articulate a point a view with someone who passionately disagrees with it teaches you how your point of view is perceived and received by others.

It is of course a less useful experience when someone disagrees with you but they cannot articulate why. I will try to probe disagreement to understand their point of view at least as well as they do in order to understand why we disagree.

A hard raise is just such a protracted disagreement in some sense.

View on HN

>my most memorable and important conversations have started off with someone telling me I was wrong

OT: I just had a conversation like this that was one of the most enjoyable conversations I or my partner had had in a long time. We sort of had an unspoken agreement where she was just going to challenge everything I said and force me to explain / defend all of my positions as we wandered all over various political and cultural topics. It was a blast!

We were at a party, and people kept checking in, like they were worried we were in a fight or something, which was kind of funny.

> We were at a party, and people kept checking in, like they were worried we were in a fight or something, which was kind of funny.

An ex-GF and I were once declined admission to a bar in Manhattan because the bouncer heard us having a very animated (but amicable) disagreement about one issue or another. "Y'all can't come in here if you're drunk and fighting".

We were mildly tipsy and debating with a bit of passion (something we did all the time and both quite enjoyed). Some people just don't understand that you can strongly disagree with someone without being angry or "fighting".

Ohoh, I grew up intellectually "play-fighting" my brother like this. I was always a battle of who could outwit the other. I could make my mother quite unhappy but we were having a blast. Now I do the same with my brother in law, we're trying not to laugh as we try to intellectually bring the other off-balance. It's the most fun I can have but people around us keep thinking we're in a fight or something and tell us to stop.

That's kind of what Socrates did. Not everybody thinks it's acceptable (just look at how well it turned out for him), but it's important to challenge all beliefs.

>it's important to challenge all beliefs.

I wholeheartedly agree. This is something that's been on my mind a lot lately, and so our conversation couldn't have come at a better time.

Reply on news.ycombinator.com