I prefer "oversimplified" :)
You're correct that there is more dissipation in the active region, but the Rdson is not negligable because the transistors are so small and the gate voltages so low (1.8V or less).
Switching does dissipate power based on switching speed. For "big" macroscopic FETs driving motors you have a separate gate driver amplifier to handle this. Within a chip, there's a tradeoff because driving a particular gate fast requires a bigger transistor to do the driving, which in turn requires a bigger transistor to drive it - so if you're not careful you spend a lot of area.
Transistor sizes are individually tuned during the design process (usually 99% algorithmically, 1% human intervention). There's a whole bunch of tunable design parameters.
I didn't discuss "leakage" either, so here's Intel on "high k metal gate" technology: http://www.intel.com/pressroom/kits/advancedtech/doodle/ref_...
(Basically, for big FETs we pretend that the resistance between gate and drain-source channel is infinite. For tiny ones it's surprisingly small and electrons can simply tunnel through your "insulator").