It seems that you're really afraid of socializing. Think of it this way, when you are in your death bed, waiting for the die(), none of these constraints you put yourself through would matter, won't even matter if you weared the shirt. But the way I see it, there are two possible outcomes in these kind of situations where you hesitate to do something for whatever reason :either you do it or you don't, in the future it won't matter what outcome you chosed, so I'll get the doing, because it will probably be another story to tell.