Comment by justinator | Hacker News Reader

Comment by justinator | Hacker News Reader

> “Sorry I’m late,” the T-shirt reads. “I didn’t want to be here.”

I don't want to seem rude, but what usually gets me with such cutesy sayings is that it's wholly trite and unoriginal, and why would you want that on a t-shirt you wear?

https://www.google.com/search?q=Sorry+I%E2%80%99m+late+I+did....

If someone were to show me one of these shirts, and be like, "hey, that's you!", I would kinda feel like... you don't really know who I am. You're just trying to explain something as complex as an introvert's inside life and not doing so well.

So, maybe I do feel for the author of the piece.

I feel also that (as an introvert), it's not that I don't want to hang out with my wonderful friends, it's just that there's something I want to do much, much, more, that just happens to be something I do alone. Tonight, my friends want to go dancing, and I love dancing (and I love my friends), but the weather is nice tomorrow, and riding a bike longer than anyone I know would want to is completely irresistible to me. My hobbies have become so extreme as I'm the only one that now participates in them. Anyone can go drinking and dancing. It's inclusive like that.

> If someone were to show me one of these shirts, and be like, "hey, that's you!", I would kinda feel like... you don't really know who I am

Amen to that. I can't actually imagine wearing such a shirt myself, nor can I imagine most other introverts doing so.

Such shirts seem to be entirely designed for extroverts who want to seem edgy and thereby draw attention to themselves.

Or introverts who want to be edgy and scare people away.

I would never wear that shirt or any other words on a shirt. Ever. It'd be horrified walking down the street as a walking message of any sort.

It's more or less the reason I'd never put on a custum and walk around, even though this is Oregon. I'd just not feel comfortable as even here most people are gonna look at you when you walk by and soon I'd assume it's ALL people. Then I'd start running, probably, barely making through the door to crack a beer and recover.

I DO NOT like to attract the attention of strangers as it's intrusive on the person doing the looking (hard to avoid walking by). Frankly, when people wear something to get looked at, not a normal saying on their shirt, but something offensive. It's not the words but the intrusion I find offensive. I feel the same about people who talk on their phone in public places or have loud conversations that step on my conversation or quiet.

It seems that you're really afraid of socializing. Think of it this way, when you are in your death bed, waiting for the die(), none of these constraints you put yourself through would matter, won't even matter if you weared the shirt. But the way I see it, there are two possible outcomes in these kind of situations where you hesitate to do something for whatever reason :either you do it or you don't, in the future it won't matter what outcome you chosed, so I'll get the doing, because it will probably be another story to tell.

Yes, you're absolutely right. I can even understand that intellectually. Doesn't help, unfortunately.

Though if I got in the habit of wearing a crazy costume and did other crazy stuff like leaving the house, all my hang-ups would work themselves out.

I understand, because I've felt at times the same way you do, so I figured what I said above in order to "hack my brain". Doesn't matter what if I say to you the absolute truth, I think the real change comes from within.

The first step is always the hardest, but after you take it, surprinsingly and for your joy, everything will fall into place.

I don't know if this happens to you, but I was always wondering what would people think of me in certain situations, for example talking on my phone in public (where everybody can hear what I say), or wearing a sight-seeker shirt or something along those lines. That really hold me down to do things. So I also figured, most people don't give a shit, and if they comment about it, 10 min later they would have already forgotten. And of top of that, chances are you'll never see them again in your lifetime. That helped me destroy these irrational thoughts I don't even know where the hell I got them on the first place.

It's more like if you're noticed by a stranger approving or disapproving, it's forgotten in seconds most likely, never making it into to storage even.

What the heck, I was trying to google disapproving (spelling) and got disapproving cat. Is that a thing? Never mind, off topic.

My point, you're right.

I have very little anxiety about doing or wearing something embarrassing in public. The vast majority are strangers I'll never see again. I won't remember them and they won't remember me. And even if they do remember me, I don't care at all, because I can't be confronted with that in the future.

But I have a ton of anxiety about doing or wearing something embarrassing in front of people I have to work with or talk to on a daily basis.

So, for the most part I keep my mouth shut unless spoken to, and just try to copy what other people wear. That way I'm mostly known as the quiet or shy person rather than the bizarre, awkward fellow. Inevitably I'll eventually acquire all of those labels if someone is around me enough, but at least I can make "quiet" outweigh "bizarre" nine times out of ten.

I can always get a life later is my philosophy. I've got more interesting stuff to work on now or play with now. Yeah, Ok.

Relevant xkcd: http://www.xkcd.com/23/

Perfect. Yes.

I'd wear this shirt to the gym or work, but not a social gathering. Imagine wearing it to a birthday? That would be extremely rude.

That shirt isn't like an attention grabbing so yes ok for the street but not ok for a birthday party for your neighbor's kid that you agreed to attend for some reason.

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