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I've done the same. Facebook was closed last year, Reddit this year, Twitter never really used, but deleted the app. I've added comment blockers in all of my browsers to get rid of all of the negativity on websites, especially YouTube. I don't use any other social apps besides the occasional Instagram for business purposes.

My phone goes into Do Not Disturb about an hour before bed, and I place it face down on the nightstand.

I read daily before bed to wind down.

I've considered revisiting psychedelics, but it's been a long time since college!

I exercise daily, mostly high intensity aerobic, pushups, pullups, situps, indoor rowing, or hiking.

The phone stuff is really getting out of control, and I'm not sure what the solution is for less disciplined people. Dating sucks, going out socially sucks, going to concerts sucks, all because of the pervasiveness of the modern phone.

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How do people survive without Facebook? How do I keep up with what everyone's up to? Sure, there's a lot of mindless posting on there but for me the good outweighs the bad.

You just do.

When I deleted my Facebook, I lost friends. But if my friendship with someone relies on my having a Facebook then, well, fuck them. I text people or call. I also don't need to know what everyone is up to, either. They can tell me when we talk or hang out.

Coincidentally, the friends I lost where the type of people who are on their phones the entire time we hung out, so I don't consider it much of a loss.

I consider Facebook -- for me -- wasted time, though, and I didn't enjoy it. If you do like it and you're comfortable with the platform (because, tbh, I'm one of those tin-hat security nuts, too, and Facebook skeeves me out on principle), then keep it. Or, if you're curious, disable it for a week and see what happens. There's no one-size-fits-all solution for everyone.

Yeah, if they were just upfront about privacy and changes and the implications, I'd be a happier user. But now that Zuckerberg is doing something pretty damn cool (the medical research project), actually, it sort of makes up for past privacy sins. :-)

Oh and please, please Facebook implement Markdown. I'd never complain about Facebook again. Probably.

I have a rule that I only friend people on Facebook who I have met, in the real world, a minimum of twice.

It really cuts down on the crap.

I really can't tell if this was sarcasm. Same way they did all the years before the invention of Facebook.

Text to coordinate gatherings/hanging-out. Talk at gatherings/hang-outs.

[EDIT] remove (mild) snark

To clarify, I know people survived before Facebook but I've been on it since I think about 2008. I really like it to be honest. It makes me sad to think of giving it up. A lot of people here are talking about a program of achieving balance. A common list item is "delete your facebook account." I can do without Twitter but Facebook I'd mourn the loss. Maybe that's part of growth though. Damnit!

An easier strategy for giving up Facebook is to simply unfollow most of your friends for about two or three weeks. After a while, you will probably notice a huge decrease in your cravings. Once you feel comfortable not seeing updates from everyone all the time, you can try deactivating your account for a week or two, and overtime you start feeling like you don't actually need to use Facebook anymore. You certainly don't have to delete your account or unfriend everyone to do this.

What is the reason for doing this though? I don't feel the need to do this. It feels like a solution looking for a problem. I realize Facebook takes up time but I usually have fun on Facebook. But I probably use it to make up for weaknesses and to avoid being alone with my thoughts at times.

Interesting. If you actually enjoy being on Facebook there is no reason to do this. It's only going to help if you're trying to give it up like you did with Twitter. My suggestion is a less radical alternative to the common "delete your Facebook account" mantra that you mentioned.

Yes, that's right. I'm realizing that the problem the OP brings up is really a spectrum. I actually do think I have a problem with too much time online but everyone's solution isn't drastic measures. For some it might be scheduling yoga, the gym, a beer with friends. You know you have a problem when you're grateful when a friend cancels plans as you get to spend more time online.

One thing is clear though, immersion without awareness is inherently unhealthy. The first step toward finding one's way is awareness or a reminder of the awareness you once had.

How many people on your Facebook friends list, or more specifically who show up on your feed have you not talked to in over a year? In over 5 years?

For me I would say 90% of people on my feed I have not spoken with in over a year or two. Some not for 5 years, some not for 10 years.

So the question is, is it really worth my time to read updates on their life when neither of us can be bothered nor have reason to actually talk to each other? Be it in person, or over the phone, or a personal e-mail.

I think for many people, they spend way too much time reading about other people's lives. People who they no longer see or interact with in any way outside of Facebook.

The other ill effect is that most people only tend to post positive things on Facebook. If you don't talk with them outside of Facebook you are getting a one sided view of their life. Everything may seem perfect. They love their job. They keep going on interesting vacations. Getting nice things. Going out to eat etc.. And it can make you depressed that your own life isn't as fun or interesting. The truth is they likely have just as many bad days and hardships as you, but don't publicize that information. A one sided view can cause jealousy and resentment. If Facebook is your only window in their life, you probably shouldn't be concerning yourself with what these people are doing.

You make valid points. But I'll still make a feeble attempt to defend Facebook.

Speaking for myself, I've had some interesting and fun conversations on Facebook and even met new people that became friends in real life. I don't pay much attention to the check out how wonderful my life is posts and more attention to something that seems more genuine, is interesting, or the basis for some banter. I actually enjoy seeing pictures of people's families and they seem to enjoy when I post pictures of my son but I don't do that very often.

I've already accounted for the positive bias on Facebook so it does not affect my view of the world. I'd imagine most people who've survived on Facebook this long have done the same, not to mention I think the nature of posts has gotten beyond the burnishing one's image to more balanced life challenges sort of posts. I'm talking about my feed so others might not be seeing this trend but it's possible a lot of people have said fuck it I'm going to tell the truth on here.

I am friends on Facebook with close friends and family but yes a lot of my "friends" are a hodgepodge of people I met once, met online somehow, and some I don't even remember where they came from. So the net result is a sort of fantasy community. I'm not sure there's anything wrong with a fantasy community though as I experience it as real. I'm not sure if that's a contradiction but I'd better get off HN for the rest of the day as this is topic is consuming. :-)

When I think I might have a problem with something, my experience has been I'm usually right about it. I also can't remember the last time I did something in response to feeling like I had a problem and regretting the decision.

You're absolutely right, though, and it's something a lot of people recovering from this or that addiction don't typically understand: solutions to addiction exist on a personal level, everyone has to find their own, and absolute abstinence isn't necessarily required. I've encountered lots of addicts who've tried to tell me that I can or can't do this or that thing or else I won't be sober.

The distinction between me doing something, like reading a physical book, in an addictive manner vs not is exactly what you said: awareness.

Of course, I'm responding to comments in this thread partially because I'm avoiding an anxiety-provoking creative project to use as a means of getting a job. Awareness is key, but apparently something else is needed. My guess is it's emotional support (or at least that's what it is in my case).

Self awareness is key and a break to do something else like a discussion here for a while is reasonable, too.

We all might look back at this moment as the moment it all changed, we all held our heads up and made eye contact. We put away the devices. Cats slept with dogs. And dogs slept with donkeys. There was something different about the world that morning.

I'm glad I stumbled on this thread even though I sort of argued with myself today whether I should regret the time spent on this thread or not. I won the debate.

If you enjoy using facebook, don't let others convince you otherwise. Maybe it works for you, but not for the other commenters. Personally i still check ocasionally my facebook, because I get notified of reharsal dates (I'm an amateur musician), what people that share the same sports as I do are doing, etc..

I think the key is balance.

I promise, you can have even more real, meaningful relationships without Facebook updates.

How can you promise that as you don't know me and don't know how i use Facebook, right? Maybe I'm having a fun time and also projecting good energy out to others. Or maybe I'm delusional. But how do you know with such certainty that my life or any other individual's life would be better without Facebook? I understand if you observed them mindlessly posting updates about minutia and robotically liking this and that.

It seems extraordinarily unlikely that you as a human being have less potential for fulfillment through interacting face to face with other humans than when you do so intermediated by Facebook.

You're probably right.

Because I know how humans have interacted socially for the last 200,000 years prior to the Internet. I'm glad it's been a positive experience for you, but for many it's detrimental. There is a reason these articles are cropping up more, and more. People are finally getting privy to the negative effects, of a life consumed online.

My experience isn't just one experience. It's a mix of positive and negative experiences. On the good side of the ledger I've been able to help people with some things I know something about and others have been able to help me. I've been supportive of friends online in a genuine way who needed it, and vice-a-versa when it wasn't realistic to be together in person. I've learned more than would ever have been possible without this tool.

The only thing (it's big though) I can think of on the bad side of the ledger are that it's easy to be consumed. I've resisted the worst manifestations that can actually kill other human beings: I NEVER, EVER look at my phone while driving. There's no justification for risking the lives of other human beings for that. I don't walk and text as it's annoying as fuck to someone walking the other direction.

What I need to do is restore balance. I would imagine that's what most people need. They don't need to do what Andrew Sullivan did. This could be the online addiction using me a sock puppet, though...

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