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Comment by hcatlin | Hacker News Reader

I'm proud to say I've done all of these. I think the "drink with co-workers" is a super-good point and I wish more people were more honest about it!

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I understand the logic about the strategic importance of drinking with coworkers but I have always felt it imposed some kind of obligation that I was somewhat uncomfortable about while I was single but much more so since I got married. The burden of the obligation for me is such that it outweighs any benefits I feel it could have in relation to my happiness. Those times when I have gone out with coworkers it has produced rigid conversations bound by convention and politics - not much different from what happens in the office. So I would say that piece of advice should be examined on a case-by-case basis.

Then you're not drinking enough.

Seriously.

Alcohol is a great evolutionary adaptation, since it allows people to be extremely dour and responsible most of the time, while being able to loosen up with chemical assistance. Countries that are known for their seriousness and work ethic often have a strong drinking culture (e.g. Germany, Japan). There's a Steve Sailer article about this; I can't find it, and the domain is auto-killed upon submission anyway.

When I have gone drinking with my covorkers, everyone has restrained their drinking very strategically. No one has ever gotten drunk.

You don't need to get drunk. Alcohol gradually reduces inhibitions, so if everyone has had a few drinks, they'll be able to sustain a conversation about, e.g., which project is actually way behind schedule, or what they really think about the sales team's overpromise-and-let-someone-else-deliver attitude.

Maybe you are taking too many steps at once. A first step could be getting a job where you actually like your coworkers enough to actually enjoy going for a drink with them occasionally.

Maybe that's indicative of a larger culture problem at your company. I can't really see people at a bar talking about politics - are you sure you drank enough?

Not talking about politics but bound by politics (office politics).

See I actually much prefer having big intellectual conversations with people when I'm drinking, including things like politics. Much better than the "dude I'm so wasted" type conversations.

The cultural norm, at least in the US, is to make friends at work. I like my coworkers and teammates, but after spending 8 hours with any group of people, I just want to chill at home. I think sometimes my teammates wonder why I don't always go to team outings; I like to spend the 5 hours I have after work w/ my girlfriend, or hobbies. I think some people just don't have any kind of social life outside of work, so that's where they do their socializing.

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