Russia, from all I have read, never wanted to join NATO
https://www.quora.com/Russia-Why-has-Russia-never-joined-NAT...
https://themoscowtimes.com/articles/5-reasons-why-russia-wil...
As for criticizing Russia because it it is corrupt and authoritarian, free speech is just part of how the modern world works. I myself am very critical about the US in many ways.
You are right, a lot of the relations in the world today are win-lose. But Syria is hardly a modern democratic industrialized state. Or take the complicated case of China and Russia, which is cooperative in many ways, and hostile in others.
Putin, his whole life, has never been a win-win guy, from all I have read. Yeltsin was a mess. So I am dubious when I hear that Russia wanted to be friendly and cooperative, and the West repulsed him.
As far as the Russian people's beliefs go, I have read lots from experts on how they see the world.