Hacker News Reader

Comment by flanfly | Hacker News Reader

Some years ago I started my day at 4 a.m. to exercise. While it worked, this kept me from having any social life outside from talking to coworkers. Getting a drink with friends in the afternoon is impossible if you want to keep this schedule, so I stopped. Being productive isn't everything in life. I'm only 30 but I doubt I will ever look back wishing I worked harder alone in my room instead of being with my friends.

View on HN

> Being productive isn't everything in life. I'm only 30 but I doubt I will ever look back wishing I worked harder alone in my room instead of being with my friends.

I'm the opposite. At almost 30 I looked over a decade that has been awesome - friends, travel, girls etc - and decided to cut it all out as I create a software company. It's now 12 hours, 7 days a week, with a once-a-week break to meet a mate for lunch (and, eh, an occasional browse of HN).

I figured if I could amplify future moments (more money, more freedom, more opportunity to meet people) by deferring enjoyment now it's totally worth the trade-off and that if I did not start I would look back in a year wishing I was working alone in my room.

Moments with friends are great, and the memories are the fumes that keep me going when I might otherwise feel lonely or overwhelmed, yet swapping a year of after-work beers and hangovers for a shot at financial independence and self determination is worth it. Totally worth it.

Plus any good friends will be there a year from now, and if the hustle pays off, those future moments will be much more enjoyable than any fun I might be missing out on.

> Plus any good friends will be there a year from now, and if the hustle pays off

I like how you've implied at least the hustle is temporary. Too often people look at work vs life, as something that either (a) must be in balance at all times or (b) must sacrifice one for the other ad infinitum.

> Plus any good friends will be there a year from now

It's been 17 months since I made a similar decision. I'm not entirely sure if my friends will be there when I come out the other side. They think I "hate" them because I've decided to put work before life.

While I don't like the phrasing "work before life", I can sympathize with friends not understanding. I experienced the same thing when I began really focusing on my career.

In the end, I decided those friends were trapped in their own perceptions of what our relationship was supposed to look like. The true friends were the ones who simply said, "yeah, I noticed you buckling down. You do you; I'll see you next month"

Well getting drunk with friends in the afternoon doesn't seem like it's the answer to life either. I'm 31 and wake up at 5am during the week. Get to the gym before getting into the office at 7:30. Definitely have enough time to get drinks with friends here or there. I'm not staying out all night partying by any means, but there is certainly a way to make it work.

“Looking back over a life of hard work … my only regret is that I didn’t work even harder.” - H. L. Mencken

Sorry, I don't mean to troll, I just dislike the strawman argument of "[being productive/working/etc] isn't everything in life."

> Well getting drunk with friends in the afternoon doesn't seem like it's the answer to life either.

Wow, the GP didn't say anything about getting drunk, so you managed to turn his comment into "hanging out with friends isn't the answer to life either". I beg to differ, it's a big part of the answer.

You guys are going to be really surprised by this, but I swear it's true: the answer to life is different for each person

Deep Thought told me it was 42.

Watson told me it was 420. Must mean it's a 10x AI ;)

4:20 ;)

> the answer to life is different for each person

Robelt Waldinger seems to (partially) disagree:

https://www.ted.com/talks/robert_waldinger_what_makes_a_good...

Summary: The secret to happiness is good relationships with other people, and the bane to happiness is loneliness. This agrees with my own observations as well.

> Top 5 Regrets of the Dying: (2) I wish I hadn’t worked so hard. (4) I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

I suppose that people on their death bed are pretty much biased, hardly less than average population. Human memory is quite imperfect and selective.

Inevitably, some day, you will empathize.

Definitely! I have hard time understanding my future self, and my future self may have hard time understanding me as of now. People change, and what feels important at medium term (a few years) also changes. There's hardly a single right answer good for all ages.

> “Looking back over a life of hard work … my only regret is that I didn’t work even harder.” - H. L. Mencken

I won't bother looking up quotes but you are going to find and endless list of quotes similar to ...

“Looking back over a life of hard work … my only regret is that I didn’t spend more time with friends and family.”

... as well.

No need to do it 7 days a week. You wake up at 4 few days a week and sleep longer when u had drinks a day before. Maybe my social life really sucks but I don't really have more lets go for a drink invites than once a week.

Personally, changing my sleep schedule day to day almost never works. I usually end up going to bed and waking up about the same time regardless. Once I start waking up at 4am, I will always end up waking up at 4am.

I find I am much happier and better rested when I keep roughly the same sleep schedule every day of the week.

While it surely sounds like a perfectly valid choice for you, it's worth to mention that another option is to actually get friends who have (or convert them into) a more healthy or otherwise desirable lifestyle as yourself. Then you can be with your friends at almost any time you want.

Where have to live (for work), there is nobody I'd want to hang out with, more than I want to do what I like after work, the decision is easier in such cases...

Reply on news.ycombinator.com