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I don't understand why every hacker tries to come up with a novel way of laundering bitcoins or tries to launder them all at once.

Is there something urgent they need to spend thousands of bitcoins on right now that they can't just launder a hundred bitcoins a day through tumblers over the next few years?

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You're assuming that they have a vested interest in holding their Bitcoins for some greater good.

I don't know how you came to that conclusion.

My assumption is that they're selfish assholes who want to successfully launder stolen Bitcoins. Holding on to Bitcoins and laundering them through tumblers gradually would allow them to do that. But it seems like every time a thief steals a large amount of Bitcoin, they try to put it through a tumbler all at once or come up with some other scheme that doesn't work to launder it all at once.

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