I'm no expert on it, but from the stats I could find, most marriages indeed have affairs in them. However it seems this stat has an unreasonably large confidence interval.
My poorly articulated point is that life is messy, and I felt your original comment comes off as overly judgmental of a situation we really can't begin to appreciate. That half of marriages have affairs (that it is effectively the norm) I thought would bolster the defense, but probably is a red herring.
Edit: Now you have me curious, are men more likely than women to forgive an affair? It seems informal studies find men on average less forgiving, but I couldn't find what I would consider a reputable data source. Crucially, asking married people to imagine how they might feel hypothetically I think would produce significantly different results from reporting statistics on marriages which have actually had an affair in their past.
Again, this has nothing at all to do with excusing an affair, or abdicating responsibility. It's really examining and appreciating that many marriages are faced with these very serious challenges, and perhaps it's a sign of strength, dare I say health, in a marriage that it can continue on after an affair rather than collapsing at the mere thought.
EDIT: Keep in mind we can also speak more generally about affairs both romantic or sexual. It is interesting how many people just equate it to a sex act.
I disagree, obviously. It's trendy to expect people are merely the sum of their circumstances, and that they'll cheat if a and b and c are true. I don't believe it. People with character don't cheat on their spouses. It's really that simple. You can be a marriage with "very serious challenges" and not cheat, even when the opportunities are all around. Millions of people do it.
>...and perhaps it's a sign of strength, dare I say health, in a marriage that it can continue on after an affair rather than collapsing at the mere thought.
Yes, the "mere thought" and action of the ultimate betrayal. I'm not buying it. Whatever they say, people who stay together after an affair are making a calculation. It's for the kids, or it's over money, or the cheated-on spouse is afraid to be alone. Oh, sign me up.