I agree on the last part, and I think the particular weirdness here is a result of ZFS historically mentioning the value of ECC a lot more than other FSes. I think this probably makes people think that ZFS in some way depends on it more than others, rather than simply pointing out that there's a disturbingly high chance of encountering a problem without it that applies to everything.
And sure, if you're building a frankenbox, ECC is probably not an option, or the sort of expense that takes it out of the frankenbox category. I do hope that folks wouldn't store important data on dodgy hardware, but that is about more than RAM, and also none of my business.
I don't believe I'm misinterpreting people's reactions - I've witnessed people assert that ECC is a scam, waste of money and similar. Even after I point them to that link I posted above, they still seem to believe that It Won't Happen To Them. ("I don't have millions of machines.")
In any case, I still find it frankly bizarre that people run the risk with important data. If you asked people if they wanted to buy a CPU that had an ~8% chance of undetectably lying to them, I'm pretty sure the vast majority would at least want to spring for the premium one that allows at the least detecting the lie.