More seriously, there's FogBugz, which intentionally is not very customizable to avoid the issues the above poster was referring to.

In my experience, FogBugz is a little too limited, so I do prefer Jira, but only when used by competent people who understand that the customization should not get in the way of getting things done and it should not be used to institutionalize a lack of trust in employees.

Having used HP Quality Centre, JIRA and Team Foundation, I think your snark is unwarranted and there is a middle ground to be found between very basic issue tracking and something completely overbearing like QC.