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Comment by tristor | Hacker News Reader

I found the juxtaposition interesting in this article that one of the women got into "sugaring" because she was tired of dating "immature frat bros" and then found that many of her clients were lonely tech workers. At the risk of stating something which is a bit cliched, I think that there was an opportunity here missed where the woman could have legitimately dated a tech worker who wasn't an "immature frat bro" without having to resort to "sugaring". On the other hand, it doesn't speak highly of any of these men that they consider it okay to sexually objectify women by paying for sex, although I do understand their frustrations and loneliness when you're stuck working so many hours its impossible to even try to date.

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I never got this "sexual objectification" thing. If it is sexual objectification to pay for sex (assumed consensual), then surely it's "intellectual/creative objectification" to contract someone to make a website, right?

I mean, if it was something special about sex, we wouldn't need to qualify it as sexual (prostitution is not 'sexual prostitution' or even 'sexual slavery').

So what is it that is the problem with sexual objectification? It's not the objectification proper since nobody is lamenting the objectification of plumbers and painters or what not. And it's not like anybody cares about what their feelings are like. Everyone seems to understand that it's a job.

So really, the aspect of sexual objectification people don't like is that they believe no one should be allowed to sell sex. And my question is why? We sure are allowed to sell food, either at the grocery or the restaurant. We're are allowed to sell and rent living arrangements. Although it's uncommon, there's even places charging for access to toilets.

So why is sex so special?

> So why is sex so special?

If only Rusty would have restored kuro5hin.org by now, I would link to my diary titled "The difference between boys & girls"...

'Evolution' has decided that women get to choose who they have sex with. Women have to be picky, men tend to take what they can get. Some women are much more open to sex than others. Some women factor monetary considerations into their decision process.

I once picked a woman up in the taxi from a cheap motel, and took her south along I-17. When we drove past Cheetah's (a strip club), my passenger said, "I've bet you've picked up a lot of ho's there." I protested that strippers were just working. She'd had a lot more experience with strip clubs than I, and she said something like "all strippers are ho's". Which I guess might be true enough to be a truism.

I also had a stripper who'd been followed home and beaten up by some of the clubs' patrons, probably because she wasn't available for the services they wanted. (Edit: I had this woman a couple times. Sometimes she arranged for me to pick her up again for her trip home, instead of calling the taxi company for a random driver.)

To me, that would indicate that there's some quality that she doesn't like about the tech workers that the frat bros have. The frat bros have qualities that are ok at first get on your nerves over time.

Or maybe she's tired of dating in general. Might as well get paid for it then.

> To me, that would indicate that there's some quality that she doesn't like about the tech workers that the frat bros have.

I agree. I'm curious what that quality is specifically. Both for my own personal advancement and out of a general belief that people are individuals not the labels that they are described by. I would think certainly there's both a subset of "frat bros" and tech workers that these women might find fulfilling long-term relationships with.

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