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Comment by mknocker | Hacker News Reader

I fully agree. When working on a team, you have to think about the future not only the current moment. If every time you have a disagreement it results in a win-lose situation I can guarantee you the mood among the your team will go down quite rapidly. I would suggest 'Getting to yes' by Bruce Patton, Roger Fisher, and William Ury on this matter of negotiation.

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But this is one of the things that the article sets out to define! That the work process should not be driven individual competitive arguing (which is pretty much the default mode of interaction for male technical staff), but people need to think about whether the arguments that they find themselves having are worth it for themselves and for the team.

"Conversely, there are several different conditions that constitute “losing.” The team can lose if you make a teammate feel like their contributions aren’t valuable. The product itself can also lose by missing out on early critique of its features, or by missing an opportunity to have its features developed less expensively."

I don't know this book - thanks for the advice. I would recommend "How to win friends and influence people", which gives also good advice and a lot of hints.

Yes. I read it. Good book indeed :)

Getting to Yes is a far, far better book than How to Win Friends, with a much more nuanced and broadly useful perspective.

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