This is the problem, most people don't even know if they are being a jerk or not. I thought I had good social skills until I read HTWFAIP. It made me realize how socially inept I was. Turns out the main message in most social intelligence books is the emphasis of empathy; it is actually a hard skill to learn and one that's usually underestimated by the majority of people especially geeks.

Attached to that, though, is that there are different levels of "jerkness." Most of us could do with being more jerk-like when it comes to defending or promoting our own interests and ideas, but we need far fewer jerks who try to mess up other people's lives. Sadly, they all seem to get lumped in under the same term..