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You can still compare them, e.g two numbers could or couldn't be equal. Equality is a form of comparison

wouldn't this make all things comparable?

Except apples and oranges apparently.

You can compare apples and oranges alphabetically.

As far as I can tell, it's not that you can't compare apples and oranges, it's just often misleading.

You don't even have to do that: Just well-order the universe and use the resulting ordering for your less-than operator.