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Comment by mynameishere | Hacker News Reader

She is living a life of great privilege. But she wants to be a victim. (Society teaches that this is a good thing to be.) But no--nerdy guys occasionally flirting with you doesn't make you a victim. No, the mere existence and layout of pink dolls in Walmart don't make you a victim. No, applying meme-of-the-day terms like "Impostor Syndrome" to yourself doesn't make you a victim. Sorry.

You're more privileged than 99.9 percent of the world. Just admit it and drop the false morality.

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One offered to give me a massage “because I looked stressed.” Another tried to get me to watch a movie with him in a dark room with the door locked and blinds closed. Later, he gave me a custom-made t-shirt with his name emblazoned across the front.

These repeated unwanted sexual advances are textbook sexual harassment, specifically creating a hostile work environment. If she had gotten them to text those things to her, she would have grounds for a lawsuit.

Here's the definition of sexual harassment:

Harassment can include “sexual harassment” or unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical harassment of a sexual nature... harassment is illegal when it is so frequent or severe that it creates a hostile or offensive work environment.

https://www.eeoc.gov/laws/types/sexual_harassment.cfm

I never understood the whole sexual harassment thing in tech. Don't get me wrong, I understand how awful the entire situation is, but it sounds much more like a systemic issue than an issue that simply affects tech. The whole idea that many, many, many people find their significant others through work seems to indicate that in tech, it's "just" a hyper-condensed artifact of a much larger issue. I'm very curious what others think or if they know of any recent and relevant papers in either direction.

Sexual harassment is pervasive throughout all industries. I was replying to a comment that was ridiculously dismissive of a clear example of sexual harassment without speaking specifically about tech.

Basically, the law as it stands says that you can express romantic interest to a coworker once for free, but you have to drop it if they're not receptive.

I think the poster's point still somewhat stands which is that having guys uncomfortably advance is very much a first world problem.

I have had advances from a couple of females during my career (clients looking to gain favor for cheaper/better work) but I would never consider it something I should be suing or even worrying over.

Would you think about leaving a firm if you were getting hit on aggressively by unattractive people as often as you got recruiter spam? That's an example of what would amount to constructive dismissal (grounds for a lawsuit).

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