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My office is close to my home (35-40 minutes by either bike or car because traffic is heavy) and I actually look forward to the days I drive. That drive gives me 35 minutes to enjoy my coffee and listen to an audio book or podcast. It's a peaceful time of the day.

I live in the 'burbs now and I don't think I could ever go back to high-density living. When I was in my 20's, the energy of the city was electrifying. In my 40's, the peace of the neighborhood is calming. I love having community pools and tennis and basketball courts. I like having maintained trails for walking my dog. I love having a big garden. I like my neighbors and my gigabit internet.

I'm just waiting for self-driving cars to be available so that I can move further out of the city.

This is an aspect I haven't felt (yet). Ask me in several years how I feel again. ;P I'm in my 20s, so the city's energy is what I love.

I take a boat and a train, besides a small walk, to get to work, lasting about the same as your commute.

It doesn't bother me at all. The walk is enjoyable and during the rest of the time I read books, blogs, HN, etc on my tablet, I play games, or I just enjoy the view[1]. It doesn't feel like wasted time at all, though I certainly can't do everything I would at home.

I do find two things are crucial: the walk is on quiet streets with lots of trees, and the train and boats are smooth. I spent a few months commuting by bus, and it was much worse.

[1] https://i.ytimg.com/vi/rrSGcfwJ6G8/maxresdefault.jpg

I recently got a pair of headphones and downloaded some podcasts. Listening to something has helped make the commute smoother. It's still not as ideal as I'd like.

Audiobooks! Audio dramas! The BBC has a bunch. Also, take a look at we are alive, it's a very good audio only zombie story. The difference from regular audiobooks is that they are actually acting everything, along with the noises and sounds.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/We%27re_Alive,_A_Story_of_Surv...

BBC's audio dramatizations are great; I particularly liked Geoffrey Palmer's reading of The Man Who Was Thursday: http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b009sm39/episodes/guide

BBC programmes are available from UK IPs only.

People outside the UK should be able to download BBC podcasts.

The linked programmes aren't currently available on the BBC site to anyone - but linking gives people info to buy the product or find it using other methods.

(I'd be surprised if there wasn't a private tracker for BBC content).

It's such a joy being able to walk everywhere in the city. Besides what time you or money you might save, it's great for your health too, especially if you normally take public transit.

> I truly don't understand how people spend their days like this.

You get used to it. When I lived in a more affordable metro area, I could live 30-45 minutes from work, and indeed it was nice. Now, in the Bay Area, it's more like 2+ hours each way, which I thought would make me want to slit my wrists, but you kind of just turn off your brain and deal with it. I find the need to "take work home"--because there isn't enough time in the day--to be more of a "grind" than the commute. You never truly end your work for the day. But you do what you have to to support your family, even if you never get to see them.

> "But you do what you have to to support your family, even if you never get to see them."

I understand why you would do this for your family, but surely there are other work options? If you're spending 2+ hours each way in a commute, that's roughly 1/4 of your waking time each work day. If you could take a small pay cut (retaining enough money to support your family) but get those 4+ hours of your time each work day back, would that be something you'd consider?

Sure, but you've kind of got it backwards. At least here, your commute distance is roughly a function of your salary (inversely proportional). The more you make, the closer to work you're able to live. You shorten your commute not by changing jobs (they're all clustered in a few areas anyway) but by moving to a more expensive (or smaller) place.

Do you have the option to work remotely?

If you work 5 days a week and spend 4 hours in a commute after a year you will spend 43,3 entire days commuting. After 8 and a half years you'll have spent one entire year of your life commuting. Thing about how much stuff you could accomplish in a year.

...you could go for a road trip!

I feel your pain! My last job had an hour drive each way 5 days a week. And my current job is an almost two hour train ride each way 3 days a week.

But we still have it relatively easy!

- http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2014/08/13/us/starbucks-w...

- http://www.epi.org/publication/irregular-work-scheduling-and...

It gets even worse if you really quantify it:

Assuming, roughly, 250 working/commuting days each year, every 2 minutes you spend on your commute equals 500 minutes annually, or just over one 8hr work day.

After realizing that my current 40min commute costs me 20 working days of time per year, with further costs of car maintenance, stress and risk, I've committed to finding a gig closer to home, or even better, one that allows working remotely. The opportunity costs of commuting by car are just too high.

I'm there with you. This whole ordeal has made me start to realize what is important to me. I realize how lucky I was when I was so close to work.

I was quantifying it like this:

* work: 8 hours

* sleep: 8 hours

* commute: ~2.5 hours

That leaves 5.5 hours a day for myself, which includes eating and getting ready. So really, less than that.

I'm totally sold on the philosophy of eat, work, sleep, and play in the same area. You can rent a car if you want to go on a long weekend or something and not have to worry about any maintenance. It feels more liberating.

Personally, I miss my 1hr30min round-trip drives to work. I enjoy driving and I enjoy listening to PodCasts & audio books.

I would say adaptation is hugely important. Find some way to enjoy it, or at the least, find a way to make better use of the time.