So, I'm autistic. Anyone who follows me on HN or Reddit has seen me speak about what it's like to grow up autistic in a part of America that didn't officially recognize Autism (let alone variants like Aspergers) until it was too late to help me.

I sometimes do suicidal ideations, but then the part of me that is usually being like "hey, you can't have fun and enjoy yourself, because ten years ago someone you didn't know very well said bad shit about you" (ahh, depression, my old friend), is like "you committing suicide isn't the answer... them committing is a more acceptable answer."

And, well, that part of me is right. If you're that big of a pile of shit to attack people based on their disabilities, well, society doesn't really need you, and you're representative of the cancer that is killing society.

And, for a while, I'm okay again. The depression goes away, and I start functioning half way decent again.

I will say, though, 200mg of Theanine twice daily with a strong cup of coffee (and only one, let's not get into caffeine obsession), one an ~hour after I wake up, one about 6-8 hours later, powers me through the day and shuts that part of me up.