Are you me? I'm in the exact same boat. It's not even just SF or NY - companies in Reston, VA or Tyson's Corner won't even consider even a partially remote schedule.

I've gone so far as to offer to commute from central MD to northern VA a couple times a week - no dice. Gotta be onsite every day in their open-office floor plan where 90% of the workday is spent with noise-canceling headphones on and almost all communication is through Slack.

It's maddening how the pendulum keeps swinging away from remote work in this area.