I think that's the universities' fault - Australian unis force you to have a project proposal after the 6 or 12 months mark, and then you have about a year or two to do that project, then you have to write. There is very little time to do courses, and if you take a course, you lose one out of 3 possible time extensions. If you don't make it in time your student visa will expire (I think maximum is 4 years?) and you have to leave the country. If you're a citizen your scholarship will end at the same time. And these are good scholarships, usually about $500-700 per week.
My PhD experience was nothing like OP's or yours, much more focused, much less time wasted, much more publications too! I think our bioinformatics group's record was 12 papers in one PhD (3 first author). I had 2 first author and a few more middle author papers, one of them in Science.
As for the bean counting: her first-author PLDI best paper is the field's equivalent of a Nature paper, and she got one in her first year.
geared towards quick cheap labor for the PI's idea.
I am not sure the phrase "quick cheap labour" really gets to the heart of the matter.The real reason why most PhD students work on their supervisor's ideas is different. Most students would drown in the ocean of possible ideas, would simply fail without strong guidance from an experienced supervisor. It's probably best to see a PhD as a warm-up exercise for future research. The ocean of previous research one must master before being able to do original research in mature fields is simply so large that most students can't handle it on their own. Supervisors would love PhD-students who are intellectually mature enough to come up with their own ideas and execute them to a publishable standard. In my experience, at best 1 in 5 PhD students can do this.
I used to think my own PhD work was 100% self-invented. But now, having supervised a lot of my own students, I see clearly how my intellectual mentor gently nudged me in the right direction at all critical junctions where I would have gone astray otherwise. Without him, I too would have failed.
US PhD typically last a lot longer than UK PhDs, so comparing the two is difficult. I'd say UK PhD+postdoc is a probably comparable with an US PhD.
Hmm I thought it was the other way around. In the UK PhD students rarely do work for their supervisors like teaching undergraduate courses, which seems to happen a lot in the US. When I started my PhD in the UK I was told I needed to come up with my own project from the start. I only did one paper that was sort of related to my supervisor's project, and I only did a hundred hours teaching over my entire PhD, and that was voluntary.
The other big difference between the US and UK PhD approaches is that in the UK a PhD student doesn't do any courses. Day one on the PhD is day one working towards their research project and thesis.
The above is not always true, but when it is, I view the US system as fulfilling its mission better. Whether everyone is suited to the US system and leading innovative projects is another story.
While half the PhD is about learning how to get to the solution, the other half is in learning how to pick the right problem. In terms of HN, making a startup solve a niche is great, but knowing how to grow it into a bigger space is better.
What usually happens is that after the three years (+ extension if you're lucky) is up, you don't have a scholarship any more, and for most people this means they have to find a job to support themselves, which leaves little to no time to work on the thesis. I was fortunate enough to get a teaching position at the same university, but even that was very demanding and my progress slowed to a crawl, though I did eventually manage to finish.
Universities only get paid if the student completes, so they tend to be pretty flexible. If they kick you out at the three year mark they lose; if there's indications you're likely to complete at some point, they have a chance of getting paid, so there's some flexibility here.
I came to the conclusion that ultimately the timeframe doesn't matter - what counts is that you get it done; it takes as long as it takes. A friend of mine was at it for 20 years, but eventually finished. University administration were not exactly pleased with this timeframe and she went through a lot of difficulties because of this, but a remark she made once really stuck to me: "You succeed in spite of the system, not because of it".
Caveat: Both of us are Australian citizens; I can see how the limit would be extremely problematic for international students due to visa rules.
That seems like a bizarre bit of reasoning. When I go grocery shopping, the important part is that it gets done, but that doesn't mean I want to be stuck in the store for five years. At a certain point the cost/benefit ratio becomes insane, not just from a financial point of view but academically as well.
in graduate school, i learned a lot...in the first year. after the fire hose of the first year, i was rather tired of courses, but still had to take 3 full-time courses while teaching and tutoring. ignoring the fact that there were almost no advisors to choose from (that you'd want as an advisor), i had no time to pursue anything being bogged down with homework and exams, which became very tedious. any time i was trying to read on my own, i couldn't concentrate because i knew i had homework and exams to study for.
i went to graduate school based upon a very enjoyable NSF REU. that was fantastic because you picked a problem at the beginning and spent the whole summer working on that as your project. it ended with writing a paper and most of us presented at conferences later in the year. it was an absolutely fantastic experience that had no parallel when i was in my ph.d. program.
and my "failure" in graduate school was even from someone who had never failed on anything. it was like hitting quicksand. i had even read up a lot on how to be successful in graduate school, but it didn't matter. i left because i was miserable and earning $15,000 a year. a mere 6 months or so after leaving i had a job paying $70,000. it would have been sooner, but i was an idiot and thought i'd go back and finish a second bachelor's since i had taken so many courses as an undergrad.
I really enjoyed my PhD as a time to learn and think about deep and difficult questions. Regarding employment, I think it shows that you can commit to a problem. It shows perseverance and drive. And those are good skill to have at any technical job.
(there's an obvious Soviet joke here about 3 year plans)
PhDs in e.g. Physics are harder though.
I'm sorry to hear about your family situation. Internships provide much needed $$$ to supplement the crappy stipend if you are in North America. I lectured part-time and being a TA is also an option. The teaching was one of the better parts of my grad experience. One mistake I made was not work as a free-lance dev while in grad school. I know people who did and it pays well and also looks good on the resume (also a distraction so you maintain sanity).
Be proactive about getting a job after school. Sad to say .. the primary goal during the PhD is to get out of grad school (ideally with a PhD). The old style industrial labs are in bad shape IMHO. Try your very best to get a prof job ... I went for labs but friends who went the prof route got tenure around years 4-6. I am year 8 and still have to deal with work insecurities. The good news is that non-research jobs are plentiful and the PhD gives you a leg up. My overall suggestion ... lower your expectations and find happiness. A CS PhD doesn't mean success or status these days (not sure if it ever did). Good luck!