>sometimes I think I'd rather lie down in the snow

I said something similar only a couple days ago. Then I realized, that's not what I want; what I want is for the pain and hurt to stop. What a long coming revelation that was.

It takes time. Like what @evincarofautumn said, you get stronger. Never forget where you come from. Efforts count. Collect some useful tools. You might try http://www.7cupsof tea.com