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Comment by gregthompsonjr | Hacker News Reader

Can't complain. Great company. Constantly wondering if I'm good enough to keep my job, though. I'm trying to prepare for that day I'm told, "Let's talk. We like you a lot, but we've decided to let you go. If you need referrals, let us know." I mean, everyone says I'm doing well. I just don't feel it, so I work a lot more than I probably should, and I'm always ridiculously paranoid. I'd say I'm happy but I'm worried. I bet it's more common a combination of feelings than I think. The funny thing is that the company is full of really nice managers who keep it honest (as far as I know), and would tell me if I'm under-performing. I'd hope so, at least. So I guess so far, so good.

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> Constantly wondering if I'm good enough to keep my job, though.

I wonder this quite often too. It would be interesting to see a study involving programmers and their confidence in their skills compared to what other people think and also how much they read about programming online.

My gut instinct is to say that because we want to read a lot of new/interesting stuff online, we're exposed to (seemingly) tons of people who know TONS of things that we don't know in the aggregate, so it affects our self esteem...

I'm surrounded by the people we read material from, the guys who write it all. I try to learn everything I can from them. I'm just hoping I can express a level of competence that enables me to keep my position. The longer I can keep it, the more I'll learn, the better I'll be a year from now and after.

Are you aware of imposter syndrome? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impostor_syndrome

You may not be up to your job, but probably more likely it's that.

Being aware of it does nothing to remove the certainty that at some point the people you work with are going to turn around and tell you to go home and never come back. Just as soon as they realise you're worthless.

The most interesting thing I've seen written was on here, pointing out a problem in the logic. "If they haven't noticed you're as stupid as you think you are, they themselves must be even stupider. Therefore imposter syndrome at some point requires that your colleagues are morons, yet if you believed that you probably wouldn't feel as inadequate."

Alas my brain still believes.

Especially as I went from "on my own" to working with a team of f*cking brilliant people, I had some serious self-doubts. We instituted a review system that includes anonymous peer reviews, and it was insightful to see what others felt I was both good at and upon what I needed to improve. Seeing what others value in me helps me realize that, while I have so much to learn, I am providing value not only to my employer but also my team.

> "If they haven't noticed you're as stupid as you think you are, they themselves must be even stupider."

Ah, the old "I'm not ok, you're not ok" section of the OK Corral[1].

[1] http://changingminds.org/explanations/behaviors/ok_not-ok.ht...

Quite the same problem here, I also think I'm under-performing. Doesn't help that I'm on HN instead of working

Second-guessing yourself is a good sign. As Michael Atiyah said, "Only the mediocre are supremely confident of their ability. The better you are, the higher the standards you set for yourself."

Can you share that file? Seriously, please.

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