I agree "that's just life". And many parents who think you're doing it wrong believe they're doing it right - by trying to make their parents achieve the dreams they left unfulfilled. That's narcissism. I do not imply that one should leave the child without values but that one should let the child pick up these values in a more natural, guided learning, not in a coerced acceptance of unwritten standards. Let the parents be present to guide them in picking up the right values without forcing anything on them. Let them know the reason why something is more acceptable; don't tell them it's just acceptable and must be followed. Life and human behavior is dynamic so the right way varies with individuals.