Answer: "Roads."
Question: "What surface or environment -- by virtue of having no control over shading or solar angle, and by maximising dirt, wear-and-tear, and difficulty of maintenance -- is more or less the worst place on earth to mount photovoltaic panels?"
I mean, I know that roads occupy a stupid amount of surface area, and I understand the desire to do something better with that area. (Tip: just build less of them.) But seriously, as far as solar panels are concerned, they have nothing else going with them.