I read an interesting article on a woman who had been raped (intercourse while sleeping, waking up in the middle) and for her (emphasis on that being the case for her) the worst thing was that everyone was telling her "You must be destroyed by this, right?".

Basically, what she thought was the worst thing about the whole thing was that everyone accentuated that she was now a worse version of herself since she had been raped.

This is sort of what you were doing when you said "She must've". It's probably not in anyone's interest to actually decide what another person can or should feel, so maybe that's a lesson that needs to be learned as well. Let someone express themselves and refrain from saying "He/she/you must...".

To add for clarification:

I'm not saying this is an argument against or for anything other than placing feelings on someone that they "must/should" have.

You say cherry-picking, I say baseless assertion without a shred of evidence. Potato, tomato.