I have been developing with Monodevelop the last 4 years when I switched to mono/ubuntu and I don't see here nothing that it doesn't have already: cross platform, excellent refactoring support, multiple targets. Maybe its because of my particular use case but I even prefer it to Visual Studio.
Basic refactorings, like rename, don't work correctly every time and had to literally discard the whole commit once after renaming to make sure I don't screw up the app logic.
Also, editor often has visual glitches where letters get corrupted and I have to reopen the file to get it back to normal. Not something I expect from such a long time maintained application.
And yes... F# support is useless for anything larger than few files of code.
It's a huge pain point of any Java app, and it certainly causes a headache for users, but have you checked and tweaked your maximum heap size? Typically when I get even a small project going in IntelliJ with a couple productivity plugins installed I'll start hitting GC churn because the default Xmx value is so low, setting it to 1GB makes a huge difference.
It's not perfectly stable, but out of my experience (a bit dated now I admit) neither was Visual Studio. Eg. its infamous XAML designer is still haunting me in my dreams.
As far as bread and butter of an IDE goes, meaning navigation, refactoring etc. JetBrains' software, along with its derivatives (Android Studio is a fork), is superior to VS imho.
Then again it's a bit of apples vs. oranges here, VS is more heavy-weight and powerful, with its SQL integration and many many other features.
Not only Java, but Swing. Eclipse with SWT just feels so much faster than Swing. I don't understand why people praise the speed of IntelliJ vs Eclipse; it's not even in the same ballpark.
Even recent NetBeans releases are just as responsive, in my experience, as recent Eclipse versions.