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Comment by fitzwatermellow | Hacker News Reader

A more interesting line of inquiry is why so many of those blessed with the highest instincts for creativity have so little empathy towards those around them. As if they are so in thrall with their own genius they have little capacity for the smallest kindnesses. Or are so focused on manifesting the perfect visions contained in their minds, any quotidian concerns seem far beneath them and an utter waste of time. Consider Tolstoy and his wife Sofya, or Picasso and his muses. Einstein even referred to a "glass pane" separating himself from the norms of society.

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They're unique in their local environment. They have a sensibility that annoys people. When their environment fails to immediately satisfy them it gets tired of feeling their negative emotions. They're expected to be happy or shut up. The more they develop this component of themselves the more they're denied empathy. They get tired of giving and not receiving. What we call empathy nowadays is actually just sympathy. These people know that but you apparently don't... We collectively suck at empathy. As you have just demonstrated.

Try giving them some real empathy sometime instead of just pandering to their "genius". You'll see a human emerge before you. We like to call them narcissists at this point. "See!", we say. They can do it if they want to. They're just self-centered. This is a defense of our own egos and an instance of fundamental attribution error. Empathy costs much more than sympathy. Imagine if empathy were all you could give. Imagine being that alone.

Well said. We should more often drop the labels and categories entirely and simply treat each other as fellow humans.

There's a lot to that mechanism you describe, which is essentially a cycle of (psychic) violence. It is a cycle initiated by very real otherness on one side, and the other side's instinct discomfort with otherness. So, essentially this problem would be solved of more people sought out and learned to enjoy diversity in personality. (e.g. http://ncase.me/polygons/ but applied to personality, not race.)

I think much of what you've said can be applied to other types of social outcasts e.g. drunks, gamblers, etc.

What was said applies to the labelers, not the labeled.

After a lifetime of encounters where it's clear that what goes on in your head is not what goes on in other heads, you start to feel separate. Alone in a very real sense. I've not seen Einstein's description of the "glass pane" but it's a decent way of putting it.

And by the way, the lack of empathy tends to be a two-way street.

Seems like you have no empathy for them, rather - judgement and assumptions.

Not sure about Picasso, but I remember reading somewhere that Tolstoy tried to be good for his wife, but she was too superficial and egoist, and manipulative. He tried to act generously, giving to the farmers a part of the result of their labor, but she refused. Then he wanted to at least control his own writings and give for free the books he wrote, but to that she disagreed too.

I found where I had this information: Henri Guillemin yalked about Tolstoy. Ok, he's a leftist too.

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