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Comment by orthoganol | Hacker News Reader

I think the title should be "what I learned no longer participating in nightlife."

I can't think of anyone who participates in nightlife successfully who doesn't at least get a little buzzed when out. If you want to skip nightlife altogether, which is what OP seems to be advocating (going to sleep early, saving money), then of course, it's an easy choice not to drink.

If OP wanted to write about how to fully participate in nightlife (2am outings, etc.) without drinking at all, that would be more radical, and a pretty interesting read at that.

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> I can't think of anyone who participates in nightlife successfully who doesn't at least get a little buzzed when out.

This is a very strange and unqualified statement. I know a couple dozen very successful nightlife personalities/DJs/promoters who are sober... Not exactly sure what you mean by successful -- as in make it through the night? Cope with hanging out with zonked morons? Hook up with someone?

I'm not sober, personally, but I really admire people who manage to make the changes they need to make, particularly if they're involved in nightlife by necessity. It seems unusual if you go out a lot and don't know anyone by that description.

How is it unqualified if they are talking about people they know? And likely excluding people on the job at nightclubs.

I guess you can draw sweeping conclusions from your own narrow social base, but it doesn't seem like a reliable point of view from which to make generalities. By implication the comment seems to say that it's not possible to have a good time out sober, which could discourage someone from making a change they might need but feel apprehensive about making. I'm providing an optimistic counterpoint.

> I can't think of anyone who participates in nightlife successfully

You should expand your thinking. No idea what you mean with 'successfully' but it's perfectly possible to have a great time without any drugs (though I have to admit one thing: the main downside for me is listening to people who did drink and because of that think they have great storeis to tell - drunk myself I would just nod in agreement and not care, when sober it's just super irritating and I'm embarrassed in their place). And since I've taken my fair share of all common legal and illegal drugs out there I think I know what I'm talking about.

> If OP wanted to write about how to fully participate in nightlife

You mean like a tutorial? Nothing radical about that, basically you just behave the same as you would when you're not drunk.

> nightlife (2am outings, etc.)

2am? That's when we just get started :]

As a devil's advocate:

Perhaps 'nightlife' is just boring without drinking, which makes me wonder if it's worth at all if it's no fun without drinking. Perhaps it's just a way to moderate drinking, then?

Anesthesia is generally used to help with pain, not improve the quality of an experience.

Nightlife is when you are awake but the sun is down and all of the people around you don't mind. There is sometimes lots of alcohol, yes, but also music and conversation and hopefully a convivial atmosphere. I recommend it. No anesthesia necessary for most people.

This definition of 'nightlife' is much better than the parents as implicitly as a venue that requires alcoholol to be fun.

I'd say that sober nightlife is boring, if everyone else is drinking heavily. If the group is generally not drunk, it's fine.

Allow me to introduce myself. I am 47, and I haven't had alcohol since 2012.

Having fun is a state of mind and if you don't sit there being miserable it is easy.

What you have to do is to initiate talking to strangers, that just takes a bit of practice if it's not your normal behaviour.

> If OP wanted to write about how to fully participate in nightlife (2am outings, etc.) without drinking at all

In my experience, nightlife is even more fun with certain powdery and pill-y substances than it is with alcohol. Annoyingly they also negate the alcohol (but not the alcohol hangover), so you might as well not drink when you're using those. Waste of money and the hangover is going to be bad enough anyway.

I wouldn't suggest that kind of night out more often than every few months though. Whereas you can safely have an alcohol night out several times a month.

That said, as my workouts became more strenuous, my drinking has declined and almost completely stopped. I still drink alcohol on some occasions, but it affects my performance too much to be done regularly. And I don't have time to deal with the hangovers of other drugs, throwing an entire day away for a few hours of fun is not worth it [anymore].

And never forget: "People say you don't need to drink to have fun ... well you don't need running shoes to run, but it fucken helps".

I think discussions about sobriety tend to ignore the vast middle-ground between "stone-cold-sober" and "shit-faced".

It is totally possible to enjoy one or two alcoholic drinks on a weekly night out without ruining finances, making a fool of one's self, and blowing-out the next day from a hangover. You don't have to choose one extreme or another.

Club soda with a splash of cranberry. Drink that. Switch it up, try grapefruit. Don't be surprised when you make other people feel safe to drink the same.

> I can't think of anyone who participates in nightlife successfully who doesn't at least get a little buzzed when out.

Well, Kendrick Lamar comes to mind

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