Your life changing experience reminded me of a couple Country & Western songs...

* I Got In At 2 With A 10 And Woke Up At 10 With A 2

* I Haven't Gone To Bed With Any Ugly Women But I've Sure Woke Up With A Few.

* She's Looking Better After Every Beer.

* Her Teeth Was Stained, But Her Heart Were Pure.

* I Just Bought A Car From A Guy That Stole My Girl, But The Car Don't Run So I Figure We're Even.

OK, that last one doesn't apply, but it made me giggle.

References:

* http://www.connectingsingles.com/forum_0_109216_1/top_10_cou...

* http://www.funnyandjokes.com/top-country-and-western-songs-o...