Work on finding things you can do without anxiety. It will likely be something very different from programming, but it will make you happy! That is the key. You must focus on your own happiness. It will be a tough transition, but consider it. Maybe just do some thought experiments (like "what if I were to get involve with art?" or "what if I built an app to help volunteers do . . . ?".

Go slow, but look into very, very different areas for a potential match. Think about YOU and happiness.

The very best of luck to you, my friend!