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Is there any more delicious metaphor for a dead ambition than Tombstone pizza?

Possibly KFC Famous bowls, due to the irony of the name.

Yay you. This whole thread I've been thinking of that, feeling alone. And then I saw your comment. :D

A failure pile in a sadness bowl

Or for success in the line in the first paragraph that reads "We want to pick up a golf club for the first time and be Tiger Woods."