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Comment by sandworm101 | Hacker News Reader

When work is a choice, it isn't really work. This guy can take a vacation whenever he likes. He doesn't have a boss that will fire him. He doesn't have to worry about making rent each month. His concept of "taking a vacation" is very different then mine, yours, or most anyone else who isn't a billionaire.

If Elon Musk is stressed, he has the option of separating himself from that stress. He works because he wants to work. Employees suffer stress from which they cannot separate themselves without, in short order, creating new stresses. Elon will not be homeless next month if he stops going to work today. A psychologist might say that his stress is therefore a product of his ego, his daily choices, rather than of his environment. It is internal to his personality. That's probably why he finds it so hard to separate.

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He also doesn't have someone to give him permission to take a break. Psychologically, it changes things. In the latter part of grad school, my advisor was no longer at my university, and I was working mostly by myself. I worked every day. Not only was there no one to tell me, "Hey, take a day", I also felt, sharply, that any day I took off just meant I was one day further from my goal.

Saying "he has the option of separating himself from that stress" is true, but I don't think it captures the mental trap that people feel they are in. I also don't want to ascribe it to ego, because that has negative connotations. I think of it as a combination of not having an outside party to tell you to take some time, and working towards a goal with a single-minded focus.

He does have a person. He has himself. He needs to psychologically grant himself permission. It's all in his head. Your situation was different. Your authority figure was absent. That's different situation than not having one.

My entire point is that having yourself is categorically different than having an outsider. This is one reason why even elite athletes have coaches. Many elite athletes will train too much, left to themselves - it's hard to avoid the feeling of "I have not done enough". We're more receptive to a different person, that we trust, when they say "You've done enough. More will harm. Rest."

In my case, I'm unsure if having my advisor present would have made a difference. At that point, my work was almost completely self-driven - but that's rather the point of grad school. You're supposed to get to the point that you're calling the shots; the "authority" status of your advisor is supposed to diminish over time. But I'm also not convinced that having an absent authority figure is any different than not having one be design; I don't see how I would have acted any different if for some reason I had officially no longer had an advisor.

I agree. Been freelancing for a while and I'm never able to meet my own expectations. The standards I've set for myself are way too high. It sounds like I have control over my expectations, but its not that simple.

Now I'm trying to do my own startup and its worse than ever. I'll probably go see a therapist in a week or so (when I get time!!!)

You really think Mr. Musk could take a month off starting tomorrow with no advance notice to SpaceX or Tesla with no ramifications? These are C Corps with boards, investors, and other stakeholders that wouldn't turn a blind eye to that. Musk is not a deity who can do whatever he wants. He can be fired just like anyone else who clocks in and out of a day job--only difference is who pulls the trigger.

I did not say that. I said that it was his choice, not that such a choice would not have consequences. But he has the choice and that makes him different. The vast majority of employees do not have a choice. Elon can reduce the amount of his time spent on SpaceX or anything else without drastic impact on his person or his family. Employees cannot.

Elon Musk is incredibly attached to his companies and feels personally responsible for their success (he probably is). It doesn't help that SpaceX is arguably one of the most important human endeavors of all time (http://bigthink.com/dangerous-ideas/5-stephen-hawkings-warni...).

Having started a project that became successful for a time (though minute in comparison to Musk's projects) I can safely say that walking away when I had to was one of the hardest thing to do. There were people that counted on me, and they were really let down. It felt bad. And we're talking "fun internet community" not "future of the human race."

This is an oversimplification.

Being 'the boss' means you work to meet often unrealistic expectations you've set for yourself. It doesn't relieve you from stress, fear, deadlines.

Founders often perceive this feeling as a representation that they are the sole driver of the company's successes and failures. That means vacation represents a period of regression. It makes taking one essentially a nonstarter.

Worse, this behavior can be cyclical. Take a weekend off and you feel 'behind.'. Then you work twice as long next week, perceiving it as barely catching up. Then even harder to get back to the pace you thought you were on before.

Add to that the pressures of having billions of dollars and the livelihood of thousands resting on your expertise and the eyes of millions watching your every move ...

It's a hard habit to break. Even if you enjoy your job, the stress of what you believe it should be can add emotional and physical stress.

If you feel that you are the only person capable of doing a job that the future of humanity depends on -- it isn't really a choice.

Even on a slightly less dire level -- CEOs have their employees and employees' families fate resting on their shoulders. It isn't easy to trust someone else to do it right. You can't just take a month off and hope everything goes ok.

When you have a moral imperative to work it isn't so easy as taking a vacation anytime you want.

> If you feel that you are the only person capable of doing a job that the future of humanity depends on ...

That actually sounds like a messiah complex to me.

I'd call it a trump complex, a common malady of new-money billionaires.

> Elon will not be homeless next month if he stops going to work today.

He will not be homeless next month, but he has personal debt the size of which could cause a small bank to fail that was used to fund Tesla and possibly SpaceX.

He will likely remain a very rich man, but at the moment his fortune is very much tied to the success of Tesla and SpaceX, so he also does not have as much freedom as one might expect.

He has smart lawyers all around him. He and any family members surely have access to well-funded trusts beyond the reach of any bankruptcy proceeding.

He can't just quit like that. He has a reputation to uphold.

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