How about we parse the html and css on the server, because, you know the user might have a browser with a slow rendering engine. Then we just ship them the images.
Your sarcasm falls flat for me—if browser HTML and CSS renderers were written in Javascript we probably would have to take extreme measures to keep the web usable, especially on mobile. The effect it would have on battery life chills the blood.
In my clueless ignorance, that was what I first thought the author was ranting about when they mentioned "server-side rendering"...
We should turn adobe photo shop into a web browser!