hah, awesome stuff. One internet star for you.
208 karma · joined October 8, 2017
Its not that I have to make my own candles and my own candle holders then burn them for specific purposes - but I do know how some manage to enjoy that process.
When financial life is total shit one might be depressed to the point that giving up smoking is impossible.
Likewise, if one has a lot of money in the bank a pack of smokes would have to cost something like 1000 Euro before one would start to notice it. Some could even afford 30 k per month without giving it a second thought.
As a smoker I see only one viable solution.
1) Remove all cigarettes from the stores.
2) Have doctors do regular blood tests to prescribe the desired amount of tobacco and/or chewing gum. No brands, just one size fits all. No added lead, tar, chlorine etc etc
3) make a time released mechanism to get at each cigarette.
4) Gradually reduce the amount of tobacco served.
5) If the patient fails to reduce his intake he has to make an appointment with the doctor. Regular blood tests will show his current intake so that the doctor can re-adjust his ration to the state of the habit.
6) If step 5 fails repeatedly there can be a kind of hospitalization (read prison) where one isn't allowed to smoke at all for 2 weeks.
I think I smoke 15 cigarettes per day.
My doctor would prescribe me 105 this week in 7 time locked boxes and another 105 next week.
2 weeks seems enough to get the added stress from the rationing figured out.
After 2 weeks he would only prescribe 98 in 7 boxes of 14. This wouldn't bother me at all.
In week 5 and 6 there would be only 13 per day left.
At that point I would have to seriously start considering which to skip. Maybe the one with the coffee right after waking up can be delayed for an hour?
Week 7 and 8 there would be 12.
I might save one for bed time in stead of just lighting them up at every idle moment of the day.
A most interesting effect starts kicking roughly at this point: Other people cant have one.
9, 10 = 11
11,12 = 10
13,14 = 9
15,16 = 8
17,18 = 7
19,20 = 6
21,22 = 5
23,24 = 4
25,26 = 3
27,28 = 2
29,30 = 1
30,31 = 1 every 2 days
32,33 = 1 every 3 days
34,35 = 1 every 4 days
36,37 = 1 every 5 days
38,39 = 1 every 6 days
40,41 = 1 every week
42 = ur cured bro!
Blood tests continue however!
3 months no nicotine = you get 1000 euro
6 months no nicotine = you get 3000 euro
1 year no nicotine = you get 5000 euro
Fail to show up for the tests or start smoking again: A fine of 1 month salary and back to step 2.
People who never smoked will get the same reward.
The money isn't an issue as smokers have paid crazy amounts of tax over the last few years.
So far it was not like a road tax to pay for roads it was a troll tax simply to take your money away. If it is such a great idea we could easily slap a similar 500% troll tax on 90% of the food for not being the most nutritious choice.
Not getting enough exercise? A flat tax of 500 Euro per month seems a great way to cure you? no?
Overweight? woah! that will be another 300.
An exponential tax for drinking also seems great?
We could even prescribe push ups or other exercises and monitor you at home. Imagine the tax money to be made!
Then we could all band together and hate on fat people the way we troll smokers.
I mean, are we talking about some sadist fetish or is it really all because people care so much about the smokers health?
At my job all but one guy smoke, our coffee room is never used by anyone. We all stand outside the building. There is no one else there, no one can see us (LOL!) and we bring an ashtray. Now someone decided that we cant smoke on company terrain anymore. We have to walk 200 meters and stand outside the fence - but not in a way customers would notice us.
This is not because they care so much, it is to cater to the hysteria from anti-smoking sadists. People who've made it their business to meddle in other peoples lives because they can. Their hysterical screaming YOU CANT SMOKE HERE! doesn't at all suggest they ohhh care sohhh much about my health.
The smokes are kept behind a counter here to prevent theft. I buy a pack from a 14ish year old supermarket employee/girl. She turned around to get it, gazed over the packaging looking for the one I ordered, then she looked away, her head sunk between the shoulders and she made a face as if she just saw someone eat a baby. Took her a good 4 seconds to get back her senses and face the wall of death for a second trial.
While it is a joke I did see plenty of people turn financial "freedom" into their personal hell of drugs and/or gambling.
The weirdest example was an extremely hard working self-employed construction worker with a large variety of skills. The most happy period in his life (from my perspective) was when he lived on a camping in a tiny tent with a budget of 5 euro per day. All he did was eat fruit, lift weights, sit in the sun and chat with the camping folk.
At a different times he had 20 employees. Every day he smoked 2 packs of cigarettes, 5 grams of weed and god knows how much cocaine. But that was during work. He spend all of his free time gazing at slot machines. At the time he also never showed up for appointments if they didn't involve large amounts of money. He owed everyone money that he could easily pay but just didn't show up to do. Great way to lose friends, borrow as much as you can then pretend it isn't important enough to pay them back.
split it on the double quotes(!?)
have some stupid ip validation like a minimum length and chars used (trim included ofc)
and voilà! Now it parses line break or comma separated as well as json, xml, html. Can throw any crap at it, if the crap has anything that looks like ip addresses wrapped in quotes and or line breaks it will work.
Make the ip validation better for even better results.
Also, making a design from a screenshot is rather easy as you don't have to worry about infinite view-port sizes. A series of screenies would fit the goal better.
Nevertheless: Fun stuff! looking forwards to the future of it.
Then add a gradual set of laugh samples to represent the number of observers who pressed the "yes, that was funny" button. For the jokes with the highest powerlevel animal sounds should be mixed in.
Lets call the invention The Funny Royal.