Good point! That idea of a black market in this trade is scary.
51 karma · joined April 23, 2018
If you're still going to be a staffing agency making income from placements, what changes will you implement to transform it into a "service"?
And what's the difference between your idea and simply being an individual who donates a portion of their income to charity?
1. Lamictal since late '15. Was originally on Lithium for the mania, but grew tired of the side effects + kidney risks...plus, it had worked well enough from '09 - '13, "Maybe I don't need it. Maybe I'm one of the 5% who won't relapse." I dropped it and it promptly triggered a 5-month major mania episode, followed by a 4-month deep depression (because I immediately ditched my anti-depressants once I was rockin' the mania!).
2. Effexor since January. I had been on Cymbalta for the entire time since my diagnosis and felt, with things declining, it was worth trying something new. The jury is still out on this one.
3. Wellbutrin.
4. Klonopin, as needed. I've always been super conservative with anti-anxiety medications and avoided them. But clearly the problem has escalated in recent years. So I'm working on accepting this as part of my treatment.
5. Ambien.
- Bipolar 1 - Severe eating disorder - Moderate/severe GI issues - Moderate/severe Anxiety - Moderate/severe Agoraphobia - Moderate Carpel Tunnel Syndrome
There isn't much to balance at this point. I have averaged 10-15 hours of work/week, which takes the form of a 1-2 months of working pretty hard followed by 1-2 months of being unable to work due to depression/anxiety leading to mental & physical paralysis. It's frustrating because I'm in a super momentum-driven sales role, with high volume and consistent work required to keep earning money. So I'm essentially shutting down the business and its inertia every couple of months...then restarting! I'm good at what I do and very fortunate that I can cover my bills and save on my meager workload, but it's frustrating because my inability to work has deprived me of at least $1 million over the course of my freelance career (based on my earnings rate, my missed hours have cost me $100K+ per year). It's the missed potential that is most frustrating. ...And don't get me started on the substantial portion of my net worth I've gambled in the markets and partied away during my periods of mania.
It has been a constant decline since a BP relapse and recovery in 2015, with the above physical problems especially accelerating since then. In late 2016, my GI problem escalated to a point where I couldn't make plans due to unexpected multi-hour flare-ups that occur at least twice/week. This boosted an already-serious eating problem (it's been my chosen method of self-medicating for 20 years now) to a full-on functional disorder. That has made the GI problem worse...and the cycle continues.
I haven't socialized, talked to a friend, or been on a date in 2+ years (neither in-person or text/online). I text with my sister occasionally - she lives 2 blocks from me, but I haven't seen her or her family in 3 months. I try to see my parents once every 2 weeks.
The Carpel Tunnel only started a few months ago and has made both work and reading extremely difficult. It's a pretty cruel one, having caused me to cut my reading from around 60 to 10 hours/week (reading is my life). And work-wise, I have this new physical obstacle to face - typing, scrolling, and clicking are super painful - when I finally get in the moods to work. Gah!
I'm finally forcing myself out of the house to the Orthopedist tomorrow, so fingers crossed (ouch, heh).
I'm not even sure I answered the question - feels like it devolved into a rant. But it has taken so long to type this (breaks needed in between!) that I'm just going to submit the comment anyways.