carrier_lost

If websites call jQuery from a common CDN (like Google's, or Microsoft's, or jQuery's own) then it's already cached in the browser, and processing time really is negligible on a modern browser with a decent Internet connection.

If I may toss out a couple of cliches -- why reinvent the wheel when you can stand on the shoulders of giants?

Pedantic, but: If you take the fictional parts of the resume and achieve them, thereby making them nonfiction, then your resume isn't "total" (post title) fiction, is it?

"Over dinner, he outlined the notion of spending “a million dollars” to hire four top opposition researchers and four journalists. That team could, he said, help Uber fight back against the press — they’d look into “your personal lives, your families,” and give the media a taste of its own medicine."

"your families" = "your children"

"There is no moral imperative for me to view ads since I've paid to access the Interwebs"

When I go to McDonald's, I don't pay for my Big Mac. I already put gas in my car!