arconis987

I was sent to Europe. On one hand, it was an uplifting, wonderful experience. I taught the missionary lessons to very kind people. Three or four of them joined the church. I became extremely close to the other missionaries.

On the other hand, it was an excruciating experience. Common daily routine for me (I followed the missionary handbook with my whole heart): 6:30am: wake up, exercise. 8am: read Book of Mormon and Bible, take notes. 9am: study the scriptures with your companion. 10am: Study the language. 10:30am - 8pm: Proselyting. This consisted of stopping people in the street, knocking on doors, and going to appointments to teach lessons. Since interest in Mormonism is low in Europe, we taught few lessons, so we spent most of our time talking to people in the street and knocking on doors. We spent most of the day facing rejection. We were yelled at probably daily by someone calling us a cult. Once we were interviewed by a local newspaper who wanted to know more about Mormons. The interview went well, but in the article they called us a cult. It was highly discouraging. We weren't allowed to read any non-church material, listen to any non-church music, or watch any movies or television. Internet access was limited 30 minutes per week to email family. You write down goals for how many appointments you will have each week and how many baptisms you will have each month. There was some pressure to get good numbers. (All of this said, I deeply respect Mormonism and do not consider it a cult at all.)

I spent a lot of time writing code with pencil and paper because I missed it. Some of my companions rebuked me for it, but some were compassionate and encouraged it. I often thought about leaving the mission, but there is immense social pressure not to come home early. It can bring shame on you and embarrass your family.

I think Mormon missionaries have a tough life. I love them dearly and always wish them well. It is a difficult situation to be placed in, and many of them behave beautifully and admirably in the face of adversity.

I hope no Mormons here feel that my words are trying to attack them or things they love. I love the Mormon church and find many of its teachings beautiful. However, I'd like to convey what it's like to be Mormon, struggle with the experience, and recognize a desire to follow a different path.

You're absolutely right. Whenever I've received a very stern scolding from a Mormon friend or family member over my decision to stop participating in Mormonism, I've tried to respond by saying that I'm grateful for their deep concern, which demonstrates that they care about me.

It would be nice if we could all believe what we want to without consequences to our relationships, but unfortunately that isn't a realistic expectation in many (maybe most) religious communities.

I think that's a very good point. That said, my guess is that, on average, shunning is probably less frequent when family members leave a political party than when they leave Mormonism, but that's just a guess with no backing evidence.

Some Mormon families don't care whether their kids stay in the church or leave. For others, it leads to shunning and disowning. I'd say shunning probably occurs more for Mormon apostates than Catholic apostates, but it probably occurs less for Mormon apostates than Jehovah's Witness or Scientologist apostates.

I grew up Mormon in Utah and I love the Mormons in my life. Every leader in local congregations is an unpaid volunteer. Everyone in the congregation has a responsibility to carry out in the community (sunday school teacher, youth mentor, clerk to track finances, etc). As a Mormon kid, I was taught to work hard my whole life for the good of others. I served a Mormon mission in Europe, which was an extremely difficult experience, but I learned the value of persistence and diligent hard work.

There are definitely some interesting positive cultural influences from the Mormon church. There are some negative influences however. A few years ago, I decided no longer to participate in the Mormon church because of its harsh policies/teachings about LGBT people and because I found myself agreeing with agnostic atheism. I told my family and friends that I'd always respect them and their beliefs when I decided to leave the church. I was surprised by the harsh reaction: my Mormon loved ones told me that they were concerned about the future of my children, that I was depriving my family of happiness in heaven, and, as one of my own parents told me, they didn't know who I was anymore.

I think Mormons are extremely kind to non-members of the church and to the church's current members. But if you are a member and you want to leave, sometimes they can be extremely harsh. I also think Mormons are some of the most kind people in the world on the person-to-person scale, but on the group-to-group scale, they can be pretty brutal sometimes. Blacks were denied access to the most sacred temple rituals until 1978, and today LGBT people in long-term relationships or marriages are considered apostates and their children are not allowed to be baptized. Weird mix of super kind and super harsh.

I appreciate the quote from Epictetus, a key philosopher of stoicism: "Freedom is the only worthy goal in life. It is won by disregarding things that lie beyond our control."

Since you cannot control the reactions of other people, it's not worth your time to worry about them. If you can succeed at the things you can control ("Am I making consistent progress on the product?"), then you've succeeded, regardless of the reactions of other people.

It's silly, but after trying all kinds of different todo systems, the most effective I've found is an "Ideas" Google Doc. Psychologically, I think my mind prefers that the doc is a list of ideas that are optional rather than a list of mandatory todos.

Yeah, it's intellectually interesting work, but it takes its toll.

7am - 7pm in office, plus 1 hour commute each way.