alecdibble

I'm sorry to hear about that. I can completely empathize with how it must have felt to dread going to work everyday. Unfortunately, as this thread has shown, some people don't understand and rather rationalize.

First, I said the gender roles could easily be switched. In fact, I personally know several males that have been in this situation of unwanted advances from females. So your "disrespectful" assessment shows me that either you did not read my post fully or you are just trying to win.

You seem to live in some fantasy land. Why does someone have to be "mature and well-adjusted" to be employed in this country. In fact, you are implying mature and well-adjusted when it comes to dating and sexual advances. People come from varying backgrounds and have varying emotional states. Job descriptions don't usually list having to handle harassment as a duty. Furthermore, it's fantasy to think that once a dynamic like that is created, things will continue the same as they were before. Some people are strong and wouldn't be bothered. Many people, however, would be bothered. In a workplace, you have to cater to EVERYONE, not just the "mature, well-adjusted adults". What if Sally (or Ted) was right out of high school and was not a "mature, well-adjusted adult". Why are they required to be when it comes to sexual advances. They are at work to perform a duty and get paid for it. They are REQUIRED to fulfill those duties and not some made up ones pertaining to being "mature, well-adjusted adults".

A more appropriate course of action for Ted would be to ask if Sally wanted to get coffee outside of work, without implying any advances or sense of relationship (i.e. dating). An approach like that would allow Sally to decline the offer without the same kind of negative consequences.

And just so there is no misunderstanding, I have recomposed my example story:

Ted works 9-5 at company A. He loves his job and enjoys his day-to-day tasks. He has to spend a significant portion of every day at this job, so he is grateful that he enjoys it and feels comfortable. Sally is a fellow employee that recently got assigned to a project with Ted. They work well together on the task at hand. One day, Ted notices Sally's eyes lingering and catches her looking at him when he is working. This makes it harder to concentrate because he feels uncomfortable. After some time, Sally starts flirting with him when they should be working. Normally, Ted is fine with chit-chat but the combination of deadlines and the flirtatious nature causes him much anxiety. He wants to be nice but at the same time, he cares more about the project and his career advancement than this girl's pathetic attempts at being witty. One day, Sally asks him on a date as Ted is walking to his car. After a very uncomfortable silence, Ted declines and leaves for the day. That night, Ted cries into his pillow. What was once a great work environment has now turned extremely uncomfortable. His job is demanding and the added pressure makes it hard to focus. He doesn't want to deal with the extremely awkward situation, especially since it is both unavoidable and takes a large amount of his waking life. What are his options? He can go to a supervisor. If the supervisor doesn't care and writes it off, he will feel terrible. If the supervisor transfers Sally from the project, rumor may get around and everyone in the office will know. (And yes, males can cry too if you want to attack this using that stereotype.)

Finally, just because you are a male and might enjoy female advances doesn't make it true for everyone.

The issue here is making both genders feel comfortable in the workplace. You should NEVER hit on someone at work. By doing that, you could be instantly ruining a large portion of their day. Not just one day but every day.

By introducing that dynamic tension is created. Especially so if the other party refuses the advances. Let me illustrate this point with a fake situation:

Sally works 9-5 at company A. She loves her job and enjoys her day-to-day tasks. She has to spend a significant portion of every day at this job, so she is grateful that she enjoys it and feels comfortable. Ted is a fellow employee that recently got assigned to a project with Sally. They work well together on the task at hand. One day, Sally notices Ted's eyes lingering and catches him looking at her when she is working. This makes it harder to concentrate because she feels uncomfortable. After some time, Ted starts flirting with her when they should be working. Normally, Sally is fine with chit-chat but the combination of deadlines and the flirtatious nature causes her much anxiety. She wants to be nice but at the same time, she cares more about the project and her career advancement than this guys pathetic attempts at being witty. One day, Ted asks her on a date as Sally is walking to her car. After a very uncomfortable silence, Sally declines and leaves for the day. That night, Sally cries into her pillow. What was once a great work environment has now turned extremely uncomfortable. Her job is demanding and the added pressure makes it hard to focus. She doesn't want to deal with the extremely awkward situation, especially since it is both unavoidable and takes a large amount of her waking life. What are her options? She can go to a supervisor. If the supervisor doesn't care and writes it off, she will feel terrible. If the supervisor transfers Ted from the project, rumor may get around and everyone in the office will know.

(The gender roles could easily be switched.)

The point of that story is to illustrate that even something as simple as coworker relations can really ruin someone's life. They HAVE to be at their job all day because they need money. It's not like a social circle that they can stop attending. If an awkward or uncomfortable dynamic is created, they have to deal with that EVERYDAY. It's like going to high school and having to know you deal with the bullies.

You can argue that "Sally" needs to learn to deal with it because it's life, beautiful, whatever. But she shouldn't have to. She should be able to go to work and deal with the task she was employed for without having to worry about all that other bullshit.

Thanks!

I have always wondered why so many facets of "institutional health" are promoted as the status quo even with much contradictory evidence or lack of "common sense".

A couple of things that come to mind: salt saturated fats sugars

I know many instances of this problem have to do with monetary interests. But salt? Who gains from low salt intake? Reputation? Or is it something else.

The section on the feud between Anonymous and Los Zetas was fascinating. It's very interesting that Anonymous has that kind of leverage against such seemingly powerful people.

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Book: http://www.amazon.com/Introduction-Linear-Algebra-Fourth-Edi...

Lecture: http://ocw.mit.edu/courses/mathematics/18-06-linear-algebra-...