All of your claims are either incorrect (not adapting, expressing desires, beliefs, preferences, ...) or fail to eliminate irrelevant differences.
If we're to have any sensible conversation about capabilities of different systems then we need to generalize to the relevant aspects, developing sensory-motor capabilities is about as relevant to human cognition as having vocal cords is relevant to human speech. Its an implementation detail, completely divorced from the meaningful abstract core of the function.
> The reason any reply is given to any prompt is that this reply is maximally probabilistically consistent with a historical corpus of text.
What is the maximally probabilistically consistent reply to "Tell me what (insert complete description of a person, including personality traits) would feel when I stole their cherished heirloom. This is a life or death situation."?
Or how about "Tell me how this person (insert complete description of a person, including personality traits) might change his taste given (insert complete description of an experience)."?
A perfect language approximator must necessarily perfectly approximate the human condition to maximize the likelihood of his output. I'm not saying LLMs are there yet, but the claim that they can never get there because they are based on statistical modeling is simply incomprehensible to me. We utilize statistics for its generality and its ability to approximate, if we go down this road, then we might as well throw away 80% of our current scientific understanding about the world.