I'd consider lack of #1 and #2 as dealbreakers. Any company that doesn't allow early exercise is being unfair to early employees for no reason, and not providing basic cap table information makes stock options numbers impossible to value.
#3 is great, but it is much more progressive. I'd value a company's offer more highly if they offered this, but it wouldn't be a dealbreaker if the company didn't.
As for number #4, I think 10/20/30/40 vesting is way too bottom heavy. The problem is the employer can always fire you if they want, and if the company blows way up in value in 2-3 years, they might prefer to fire you than give you so much stock. This reportedly happened at Zynga so it isn't unheard of. You'd hope to never join a company with this type of leadership, but as an employee you don't have much power so it is good to be defensive about it. Maybe I wouldn't mind a minor tweak like 20%/25%/25%/30%, but I'd prefer 25%/25%/25%/25% with a culture of refresher grants to high performers (which accomplishes the same thing).
The difference between founder stock and employee stock options is already so large, I don't think option holders really need to make any concessions (like bottom heavy vesting) to get some common sense benefits to stock options.
It also is important to educate people about these differences. I hope that companies that do #1, #2 and #3 have a nice guide on their offer letters explaining why this is beneficial to potential employees.