The Alameda-Weehawken Burrito Tunnel (2007)
idlewords.com
idlewords.com
http://www.c1espresso.co.nz/#!pneumatic/caqp
We have the technology!
):"Each tube could carry between 400 and 600 letters and traveled at 30-35 miles per hour. In its full glory, the pneumatic tubes covered a 27-mile route, connecting 23 post offices. This network stretched up Manhattan’s east and west sides, from Bowling Green and Wall Street, all the way north to Manhattanville and East Harlem. Anecdotal stories indicate that the system may have extended into the Bronx, with sandwich subs reportedly being delivered via pneumatic tubes from a renown subway shop in the Bronx to downtown postal stations."
> "Yet if you could open the airlocks and stare down its length with a telescope, you would see airplanes on final approach to Newark Airport, three thousand miles away!"
Newark Airport is in a solid southwest heading from Weehawken. Final approach is either from the north, south, or a western heading over Jersey City to Runway 29, still south and slightly west of Weehawken. A tunnel looking east would see skyscrapers in Manhattan. Possibly air traffic from Laguardia, but it's unlikely, especially with pump infrastructure in the way.
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> To reduce drag on the burritos to a minimum, the tunnel must be kept in near-vacuum with powerful pumps.
Yet a few paragraphs later, they say "Mail would frequently arrive singed or deformed from the intense heat and pressure." What is it? Vacuum or pressure?
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> Furthermore, advances in electrical engineering meant that containers would no longer have to be propelled by compressed gas. The burritos already came conveniently wrapped in aluminum foil - it would be trivial to accelerate them with powerful magnets.
The power required by these magnets to induce the Lenz effect in a burrito wrapper, let alone propel it, is too high for large-scale applications.
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> Under our feet are five miles of silt from the Rockies before you even get to the first rock.
Not even close to true. Tecumseh Shale, for example, can be found about 100 feet deep in places.
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> At the tunnel exit, a final puff of air slows the burritos to a stop and they are placed in insulated bags. These are whisked to a fleet of waiting trucks, which pass through the Holland Tunnel (this time at a more stately thirty-five miles per hour) and then onward to restaurants and cafeterias throughout the five boroughs.
Why not the Lincoln Tunnel? It's actually in Weehawken! The traffic through Hoboken and Jersey City to the Holland is insane. Why didn't they just build the tunnel to Manhattan? It's a mile away!
There's lots of other errors. I'm surprised you didn't hit me with the brachistochrone curve.
I am picturing you reading bedtime stories to your children, and interrupting to say "well ACTUALLY..."
Or so I hope, for the sake of my faith in humanity.
I've rarely laughed as hard as when this was read to me at my birthday one summer night after a few drinks. The sentence about the burritos "[tracing] graceful arcs into the East River, glowing like faint red sparks in the night" will stay in my heart for a long time.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gravity_train