I'm there. I decided one day that it's just a job and found what I really wanted to do.

So I'm reading maths and physics now. The joy in my life is actually from taking things to pieces and seeing how they work and there is plenty of that there.

For more of being with you, my company drank the microservices kool aid. Rather than concentrate on building a quality product we've got buzzword soaked boiled shit that doesn't work properly. There's nothing wrong with microservices in principle but they lack the talent and experience to pull it off. So there I am, a doomsayer, a figurehead on a ship of fools.

Edit: Just to add, I work for liars and a personality cult and that is the root cause. Why don't I leave? Money is amazing and that gives me the freedom I need.